[General] Editing for a paragraph that describes a certain scene

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kayakForFun

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Hi everyone, I tried to describe something that I saw today in oral English. But still I think there's some mistakes in it. Could you take a look and find the mistake for me and how would you describe the scene if you were to describe it? Again, it's meant to be in oral English so that it's meant just for clarity!


"Today I saw some vegabond looking for food in the trash bins while I was wandering aroung the campus playing Pokémon Go. He started searching in trash bins specialized for bottles and cans. I saw him drinking liquids left by others. He drank several leftovers in different trash bins. And then, he started searching for food in trash bins specialized for compost. I saw him manage to find something. He ate some can, possibly a fish can, using a spool on the scene. And he took something away with him after searching from several trash bins around. I think he got a transparent package of possibly burgers and I couldn't see the other clearly. But he took these two to save for later."


Thanks in advance!
 

Raymott

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"Today I saw some vegabond looking for food ..." Vegabond - A vagabond who looks for only vegetarian food?
 

emsr2d2

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"Today I saw some vegabond looking for food ..." Vegabond - A vagabond who looks for only vegetarian food?

I sincerely hope so! That would be a great new word. However, this vegabond isn't doing very well given that, in the course of the story, he ate both fish and meat.
 

teechar

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Today I saw some vagabond looking for food in the trash bins while I was wandering around the campus playing Pokémon Go. He started searching in [STRIKE]trash[/STRIKE] recycle bins [STRIKE]specialized[/STRIKE] (used) for bottles and cans. I saw him drinking [STRIKE]liquids left by others. He drank several leftovers in[/STRIKE] what was left in several bottles and cans from different trash bins. And then, he started searching for food in the other trash bins. [STRIKE]specialized for compost.[/STRIKE] I saw him manage to find something. He ate the contents of some (tin) can, possibly fish. [STRIKE]can, using a spool on the scene.[/STRIKE] And he took something away with him after [STRIKE]searching from[/STRIKE] rummaging through several trash bins around. I think he got a [STRIKE]transparent package of possibly[/STRIKE] half-eaten burger still in its wrapping, [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] and I couldn't see the rest of what he got [STRIKE]other[/STRIKE] clearly, but he took [STRIKE]these two to save[/STRIKE] that away for later.
.
 

Tarheel

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Don't say he rummaged through the trash bins "around". Just say he rummaged through the trash bins.
 

kayakForFun

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"Today I saw some vegabond looking for food ..." Vegabond - A vagabond who looks for only vegetarian food?

:oops:That's nice word...
 

kayakForFun

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I sincerely hope so! That would be a great new word. However, this vegabond isn't doing very well given that, in the course of the story, he ate both fish and meat.
Yeah, that was a sad.
 

emsr2d2

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emsr2d2

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Yeah, that was [STRIKE]a[/STRIKE] sad.

See above. Don't use an article before an adjective if the adjective is not followed by a noun.

That was sad.
That was a sad fact.
 

teechar

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Don't say he rummaged through the trash bins "around". Just say he rummaged through the trash bins.

I parsed the OP's text as "several of the trash bins which were around/about the place."
 

Tarheel

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Perhaps:

He rummaged through the bins around the place.
 
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