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    #1

    David bumped into Anna

    I am wondering if my sentence sounds natural. Would you please correct my mistakes?

    David bumped into Anna and noticed that she was fatter now than when they met for the first time four years ago.

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: David bumped into Anna

    It's grammatically correct but it's very undiplomatic! We don't tend to comment on other people's weight, particularly when it's a negative observation. I find the use of "fatter" particularly unpleasant. I might be persuaded by "... and noticed that she had put on a lot of weight since they met for the first time". Even then, it's really only acceptable as a report of something he noticed and kept to himself. I sincerely hope he didn't tell Anna or anyone else what he thought.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: David bumped into Anna

    emsr,

    Of course, my sentence would be undiplomatic if David told Anna what he saw, but he just noticed that she had become overweight. There is no suggestion in my sentence that he had told her anything.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: David bumped into Anna

    OK, let's leave aside the question of diplomacy for now.

    In your original post, you said she had become "fatter". That suggests that she was already fat when they met for the first time and now she is even more so. In post #3, you said that he noticed she had become overweight. That suggests that she was not overweight when they first met but now she is. Which one did you mean?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #5

    Re: David bumped into Anna

    My first post was clear. David thought that Anna was fatter now than when they met for the first time. In my second post I made a mistake trying to explain to you that David never told her anything. My original question was about the grammar, and not about the correctness of the word "fat".

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: David bumped into Anna

    I'm not now talking about the correctness of the word "fat". I'm simply pointing out that "was fatter" does not mean the same as "became overweight".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #7

    Re: David bumped into Anna

    David bumped into Anna and noticed that she was fatter now than when they met for the first time four years ago.

    Since the sentence is in the past tense, I think "now" should be changed to "then".
    I am not a teacher.

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    #8

    Re: David bumped into Anna

    tedmc,

    I have to tell you that in your version, the sentence does not make sense.

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    #9

    Re: David bumped into Anna

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    David bumped into Anna and noticed that she was fatter now than when they met for the first time four years ago.

    Since the sentence is in the past tense, I think "now" should be changed to "then".
    No, now​ works well. It doesn't have to refer to the actual present, just the present at the time of the action in the sentence.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #10

    Re: David bumped into Anna

    I think 'now' is fine, even for a situation in the past.
    I am not a teacher

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