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    #1

    Synopsis

    Hi, can someone please help me check the grammars below?

    Short Summary
    Things turn awry as Ann's hope for a new start in her newly-bought house is crushed to pieces as the "old residents" try to reclaim the house.

    Long Summary
    Holding the hope for a fresh, new start, Ann and her family move into a new house. However, her hope crushes to pieces as the "old residents" of the house decide that Ann's house is theirs and they will do all they can to reclaim it.

    Thank you.

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    #2

    Re: Synopsis

    Just one comment - her hope was shattered/ dashed.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #3

    Re: Synopsis

    Both also fine to me shattered/ dashed. But what's wrong with crushes?
    Last edited by Gaya87; 27-Jul-2016 at 08:23.

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    #4

    Re: Synopsis

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    Both also fine to me shattered/ dashed. But what's wrong with crushes?
    I think it is more common to say "hope shattered/dashed/crushed" rather than "crushed to pieces".
    I am not a teacher.

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    #5

    Re: Synopsis

    Quote Originally Posted by tedmc View Post
    I think it is more common to say "hope shattered/dashed/crushed" rather than "crushed to pieces".
    Ok, so it should be as :

    However, her hope shattered as the "old residents"..

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    #6

    Re: Synopsis

    ..her hope crushes to pieces was shattered/crushed..
    I am not a teacher.

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    #7

    Re: Synopsis

    We usually say that things "go awry" not "turn awry".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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