[General] sense of humanity

[Jiayun]

Hi all,

Please let me know if you have any comments on the grammar or choice of words of the sentences below:

1. Our educational goal is to cultivate high-quality citizens who have good manners, intellectual curiosity, passion for life and sense of humanity.

2. Our education goal is to help our students become a healthy, happy, intelligent and artistic person.

3. We believe that, with a clear division of labour under our management system, we are able to manage our schools in an efficient manner which could help enhance the quality of our education.

4. We offer opportunities to the parents to do storytelling in our kindergartens after school.

5. We provide training to the teachers once every school semester.

6. The children of our alumni enjoy priority in getting admitted to our school if their interview performance is same as the other student applicants.

7. We believe that the fact that a substantial number of our primary school students applied for our secondary school reflected the confidence that our students and their parents have in us for providing secondary school education notwithstanding that our secondary school only commenced its operation this year.

8. We distributed promotion materials and pamphlets about our primary schools to the residential buildings that are located close to our primary schools.

9. We consider that teachers should act as role models to our students and therefore, they should be competent in and dedicated to teaching and upholding the well-being of our students.

Thanks!

 

[Narkises]

Hi,

I'm not a teacher, but if I were you, I would write the second part in this way:

2)...... our studentS become healthy, happy, intelligent and artistic PEOPLE.

 

[teechar]

1. Our educational goal is to cultivate [STRIKE]high-quality[/STRIKE] model citizens who have good manners, intellectual curiosity, a passion for life and a sense of humanity.

2. Our education goal is to help our students become healthy, happy, intelligent and artistic people. [STRIKE]person.[/STRIKE]

3. We believe that, with a clear division of labour under our management system, we are able to manage our schools in an efficient manner which could help enhance the quality of our education.

4. We offer opportunities [STRIKE]to the[/STRIKE] for parents to do storytelling in our kindergartens after school.

5. We provide training to the teachers once every school semester.

6. The children of our alumni [STRIKE]enjoy[/STRIKE] get priority [STRIKE]in getting admitted[/STRIKE] when applying for admission to our school if their interview performance is up to standard. [STRIKE]same as the other student applicants.[/STRIKE]

7. We believe [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] the fact that a substantial number of our primary school students apply [STRIKE]ied[/STRIKE] [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] to our secondary school reflects [STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE] the confidence that our students and their parents have in us [STRIKE]for providing secondary school education notwithstanding that[/STRIKE] even though our secondary school only commenced its operation this year.

8. We distributed promotional materials and pamphlets about our primary schools to the residential buildings that are located close to our primary schools.

9. We consider that teachers should act as role models [STRIKE]to[/STRIKE] for our students and, therefore, they should be competent in and dedicated to teaching and [STRIKE]upholding[/STRIKE] to the well-being of our students.

.

 

[tedmc]

1. Our educational goal is to cultivate high-quality model citizens who have good manners, intellectual curiosity, a passion for life and a sense of humanity.

I thought "cultivate" is used with abstract things like skills, qualities, relationships, etc besides the other meaning used with crops. It seems a bit strange to use it with people. I think "nurture" is a better word to use with people.

http://www.dictionary.com/browse/cultivate

 

[Jiayun]

Thanks all for your input! I would like to raise further questions regarding the sentences below:

3. We believe that, with a clear division of labour under our management system, we are able to manage our schools in an efficient manner which could help enhance the quality of our education.

4. We offer opportunities to the parents to do storytelling in our kindergartens after school.

Regarding sentence no.3, is it natural to say "the quality of our education"? Or should I just replace it with "our teaching quality"? Regarding sentence no.4, I think it's a bit odd to say "do storytelling". Any better way of expression?

Thanks!

 

[tedmc]

3. I think "the quality of our education" sounds broader in scope and better than "teaching quality".
I suggest the word "labour" be changed to "human resources" in line with current trends.

4. We offer opportunities to parents to be engaged in storytelling in our kindergartens after school.