Student or Learner
Please help me improve the following e-mail requesting for conducting a study on widening a metal door. Thank you.
We refer to a site meeting with a District Mayor, Mr. Thompson on 20 July 2016. Mr. Thompson quoted the local residents' discontentment about the unusual narrowness of the metal door at the public footpath located between the entrance of your building and that of our clubhouse (Please see the attached location map and photos below), which had caused considerable inconvenience to the users when ingressing and egressing there, particularly during the peak hour (0800-0900 & 1800-1900) with relatively high pedestrian flow.
As such, Mr. Thompson requested the parties concerned to conduct a study on widening the metal door such as by removing part of its door gate, which appeared to be under the management of your company.
To address Mr. Thompson and the local residents' concerns aiming to providing a more convenient public environment for the footpath users, we hope you will conduct a study on the feasibility of widening the metal door at the captioned location and update the progress of your study to Mr. Thompson and our office by 15 August 2016.
Should you need further information about the matter or to arrange a site meeting for further discussion, please feel free to contact me.
teechar, "which appeared to be under the management of your company" means the metal door appeared to be under your jurisdiction.
I wish you can give me some advice on how to improve the paragraph 1 & 2. Thank you.