I'll make my own corrections (in red), and I'll comment, where necessary, in blue.
Hello, I am new here, so I have read
carefullythe rules carefully; I hope I am not breaking any. one!=P
My teacher corrected
me yesterdaythis letter of mine yesterday, but I was wondering if you could tellpoint out to me any more mistakes that may still be in it. Thank you!
Note the mistakes corrected by my teacher are in bold.
To whom it may concern:
I am writing to propose a new range of facilities for young people in our town. As far as I am concerned, youngsters here do not have
access toenough such facilities servicesto use during their leisure time. spend their free time constructively.
First of all,
it would be interestingwe need a cinema which plays movies in their original version. This is a perfect way for young people to escape from their daily routine, that there wouldif there could be for young peopleand it could contribute positively to broadening their knowledge. In other words, this kind of cinema could cultivate youngsters’ minds makingand help them to learn different languages, lifestyles and cultures from different countries.
Moreover, it might be a good idea to set up a game room which offers a variety of games that include on the one hand, school games and on the other hand, free time games. The former contain topics from school subjects such as geography, languages, history, mathematics or physical education. Youngsters could choose the subject they would like to play and there would be different questions that they have to answer according to their age. The latter include science-fiction, cars, and fight or gambling games but there would be a rule; it would be necessary to answer properly the questions from school games if they want to play
tofree time games. Opening such a room would increase the motivation onof young people to answer
appropriately the questions as well as they would be learning new concepts that otherwise they would not probably learn.
[I have no idea what you're talking about there. You started by suggesting some youth facilities for your town; now you're talking about a "game room" for a school!]
The last proposal I am going to suggest is to designate
habilitate open places in ordercertain areas/zones for young people to discuss whatever topics they are interested in. There would be surveys so as to choose the topics they want to talk toabout. As a result ofThis way, everyone would be able to share their opinions without being judged by itthis, noanyone and have ingthe freedom ofto express what they wish to express. ion.This would be a good way to socialize with others and learn ingfrom them.
I hope these recommendations
mightcan be taken intogiven serious consideration and implemented in the shortnear term. If you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me by email at XXXX.
Student or Learner