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    #1

    Exclamation Help please. I'm in a very critical situation !

    Hi everybody,
    I beg for your help to review and correct my cover letter.
    An employer replied back that it's full of grammatical and usage errors !
    Please find it herewith:

    Dear Respected,
    I am a native-like fluent English speaker, offering 25 years of corporate experience as a lecturer of TEFL, ESP, EAP, VESL, MT, EOP, Testing, Academic supervisor and project manager across multinational Educational Institutions with whom I have had a bidirectional development and appreciation.
    I have been working in different cultural environments with diversity ethnic backgrounds and all types of learners, which has broaden my knowledge and inspired me to utilize my skills to add significant contributions throughout my career.
    I am a Holder of several Certificates and PD courses:
    . TESOL based course. University of East Anglia, UK.
    . Bachelor of Education and Arts. TEFL, English Literature.
    . Diploma, Curriculum and Instructions.
    . Diploma, Educational Technology.
    . Needs analysis and materials development USAID
    . SATD (student's achievement test development) AUC
    . CELT (Computers in English language teaching) USAID.
    . Integrated ESL course (Spectrum).
    . Training Trainers for E-training.
    . Teacher Training, by "Peter Lucantoni
    . Facilitator Development Program, Mclaughlin, Professional Development Manager.
    . TESOL convention (Best practice in TEFL), USAID.
    . Marketing private and governmental English language institutes. AUC.
    . KASAAL, KSA Association of Language Teachers.
    . Cert. Classroom Management.
    . Cert. Classroom Activities.
    . LMS system. MOHE, KSA
    . Cert. Teaching New Total English, TQ, Pearson.
    . Cert. Engaging& motivating students in language learning.
    . Several Appreciation Certificates for Extra Duties and Valuable Contribution.

    I assume responsibility for helping learners to articulate and follow their values to make a change and better their world. And committed to contribute to the overall success of the corporation I work for.
    I would love to enrich and share 25 years of experience in Teaching, Supervising and Management with your talented team.
    Please see attached resume.
    Looking forward to a favorable reply,
    Sincerely,
    Ines Hilal


  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
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      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,830
    #2

    Re: Help please. I'm in a very critical situation !

    Quote Originally Posted by Ines Hilal View Post
    Hi everybody,
    I beg for your help to review and correct my cover letter.
    An employer replied back saying that it's full of grammatical and usage errors!
    Please find it herewith: Here is my letter:

    Dear Respected, Mr/Mrs/Miss/Ms + surname

    I am a native-like fluent near-native English speaker, offering with 25 years of corporate experience as a lecturer of TEFL, ESP, EAP, VESL, MT, EOP and Testing, and as an academic supervisor and project manager across multinational educational institutions with whom I have had a bidirectional development and appreciation. (I don't know what you mean by the underlined part.)

    I have been working in different cultural environments with diversity people of diverse ethnic backgrounds and all types of learners, which has broadened my knowledge and inspired me to utilize my skills to add make significant contributions throughout my career.

    I am a holder of hold several certificates and PD (I don't know what that is) courses qualifications:

    . TESOL-based course, University of East Anglia, UK.
    . Bachelor of Education and Arts, TEFL, English Literature.
    . Diploma in Curriculum and Instructions.
    . Diploma in Educational Technology.
    . Needs analysis and materials development USAID. (Is that a place?)
    . SATD (student's achievement test development) AUC. (Is that a place?)
    . CELT (Computers in English Language Teaching) USAID.
    . Integrated ESL course (Spectrum).
    . Training Trainers for E-training.
    . Teacher Training, by "Peter Lucantoni.
    . Facilitator Development Program, Mclaughlin, Professional Development Manager.
    . TESOL convention (Best practice in TEFL), USAID.
    . Marketing private and governmental English language institutes. AUC.
    . KASAAL, KSA Association of Language Teachers.
    . Cert. Classroom Management.
    . Cert. Classroom Activities.
    . LMS system. MOHE, KSA
    . Cert. Teaching New Total English, TQ, Pearson.
    . Cert. Engaging& motivating students in language learning.
    . Several Appreciation Certificates for Extra Duties and Valuable Contribution.

    I assume responsibility for helping learners to articulate and follow their values to make a change and better their world. And I have committed to contribute contributing to the overall success of the each corporation I have worked for.
    I would love to enrich and share my 25 years of experience in teaching, supervising and management with your talented team.
    Please see the attached rsum.

    Looking I look forward to a favorable reply,

    Sincerely, Yours sincerely,

    Ines Hilal
    Welcome to the forum.

    Please see my suggested corrections, amendments and comments above, marked in red.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
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    #3

    Re: Help please. I'm in a very critical situation !

    emsr2d2,
    Thank you tons for your prompt reply and help.
    . I wrote Respected cause I didn't know the employer's name. Kindly advise.
    . For the underlined part (bidirectional), I mean from both sides... Does it seem incorrect???
    . PD stands for professional development.. Do you think I shouldn't use the abbreviation???
    . USAID is : United States Agency For international Development
    . AUC is : American University in Cairo.

    emsr2d2, What should I do concerning the employer ???? should I reply apologizing?? or what ???

    I really feel so ashamed of my self, and didn't want to show my failure, but thought it's better to ask for help rather than crying over spilt milk :(
    Thank you again

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Help please. I'm in a very critical situation !

    Quote Originally Posted by Ines Hilal View Post
    emsr2d2,
    Thank you tons for your prompt reply and help.
    You're welcome.

    . I wrote Respected cause I didn't know the employer's name. Kindly advise.
    If you don't know the name of the addressee, say "Dear Sir/Madam" and end with "Yours faithfully".
    . For the underlined part (bidirectional), I mean from both sides... Does it seem incorrect??? I understood what you meant by "bidirectional" but I didn't understand the entire section I underlined.

    . PD stands for professional development. Do you think I shouldn't use the abbreviation??? If it's a recognised abbreviation for the name of the course, and you think the person you are writing to will know what it means, then leave "PD". If not, use the full phrase.

    . USAID is the United States Agency For International Development. Again, it depends if the addressee already knows what it means.

    . AUC is the American University in Cairo. Same comment as the last one.

    emsr2d2, what should I do concerning the employer? ???? Should I reply, apologizing for the errors or something else? ?? or what ???

    I really feel so ashamed of my self myself, and didn't want to show my failure failings, but I thought it's it would be better to ask for help rather than crying over spilt milk. :(
    Thank you again.
    See above.

    Remember to follow these rules of written English at all times:

    - Start every sentence with a capital letter.
    - Always capitalise the word "I".
    - End every sentence with a single, appropriate punctuation mark.
    - Do not put a space before a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.
    - Always put a space after a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.

    On this forum, don't try to make your own emoticons. Click on in the toolbar and choose the appropriate one, if you must use one at all.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

    • Member Info
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    #5

    Re: Help please. I'm in a very critical situation !

    Thank you.
    But what about the employer? How should I respond?

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Help please. I'm in a very critical situation !

    It's entirely up to you. If you were applying for a job within the English teaching sector, I don't think the employer is going to change his opinion of your English even if you write to him again. You could reply saying "Thank you very much for your feedback. I will concentrate on improving my English in the coming months and I hope that perhaps we can work together at some point in the future". I don't think you're going to get a second chance with this specific job unfortunately.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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