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    #1

    A young woman's gift

    Hi there, I really appreciate if someone please help me to check my writing below. Thank you.

    Short summary
    A young woman's gift of sixth sense brings her to a paranormal TV show, where she unveils that even the darkest pit of Bangkok connects to her deeply.

    Long summary
    As the only one who has been gifted with a sixth sense since birth, Pia decides to participate in a paranormal TV show to unveil the meaning behind her peculiar talent. Her appearance in the show unexpectedly unlocks millions of dark secrets in 13 locations in Bangkok, which strangely connect to her well. Is it her gift or determination that helps her showcase her talent? Or is it just a big game by fate?

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    #2

    Re: A young woman's gift

    Hi any feedback on the above writing?

  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: A young woman's gift

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    Hi there, I would really appreciate it if someone ​would/could please help me to check my writing below. Thank you.

    Short summary
    A young woman's gift of sixth sense brings her to a paranormal TV show, where she unveils that even the darkest pit of Bangkok connects to her deeply.

    Long summary
    As the only member of her family who has been gifted with a to have had the gift of sixth sense since birth, Pia decides to participate in a paranormal TV show to unveil the meaning behind her peculiar talent. Her appearance in on the show unexpectedly unlocks millions of dark secrets in 13 locations in Bangkok, which strangely connect to her well. Is it her gift or determination that helps her showcase her talent? Or is it just a big game by fate? I don't know what you mean by the underlined part.
    See above.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #4

    Re: A young woman's gift

    Or is she destined to possess the supernatural ability?
    I am not a teacher.

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    #5

    Re: A young woman's gift

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See above ( just a big game by fate? I don't know what you mean by the underlined part) .
    It's like fate's gameplay. Should I remove it?

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: A young woman's gift

    I wouldn't mention anything to do with "game/gameplay". You could end with just "Or is it just fate?"
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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