Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. rock-onn's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Malayalam
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Jul 2016
    • Posts: 250
    #1

    please correct my small essay

    Western foods in my city

    I am from South India and I like to write about the western foods in my city. Our people have a variety of dishes and use lot of spices in cooking. recently, western foods have come to our markets esp, burgers, pizzas, KFC. These foods are very expensive compared to our traditional foods and so it is considered as a luxury foods. I am very fond of burgers and I used to go McDonald's regularly. It is affordable and not so expensive like pizzas. Later I found a shop named Burger Lab which I never heard before. I just thought why can't I try it. I went to that shop and tried a burger. It was yummy. I felt it is even more tastier than MC Donald's and interestingly it is cheaper than McDonald burgers. I never went to McDonald's again and I switched to Burger Lab. They indeed do experiments to develop different variants of burger. They sell around 9 variants of burgers which they have discovered through their experiments. It is very tasty too. Burger Lab is in city of Cochin, Kerala but they are in small street , I mean, not in the main street. I discovered this shop while walking from office to my residence. Many in our city doesn't know about this yet. They do have some regular customers. I talked to their owner and I came to know that owners are 3 partners who are youth and they come from a place which is near to my village. My village is 100 km north from Cochin city. There are two burger shops near to our village. I told the owners of Burger lab to start a burger shop near our village. I found that only the youths go for western foods and old people prefer their traditional foods. Starting a burger shop is highly risky in our place because only youth who have money will buy it. Not all youth look like western food here. It is only a minority who likes it. KFC is accepted by our people. A big majority go for it. But when it comes to burgers only a minority who liked it. Pizza is loved by many but it is too expensive and pizza shops can be found only in big cities. Burgers are relatively cheap and Kerala people slowly started to accept it. I consider my village people very advanced because there are 2 burger shop near our village. That is very strange in Kerala. Most Kerala village won't have western food shops mainly because people prefer their traditional foods and people in village are usually poor. I asked many people why they don't go for a burger. I got different answers. Most of the poor people replied that it is expensive and it is food of rich people. Most of the educated people replied that it is unhealthy because of its high fat content. Some replied that they don't like burgers because they didn't like the taste. These people didn't like it's taste because burgers don't have spices as in their traditional foods. I prefer pizzas to burger but pizza is too expensive in our place. Western foods are high tasty food but they have high fat content. The recent trend in our place is start to venture to open western food shops.

    I wrote this in an attempt to improve my English. Your corrections are very valuable to me.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,843
    #2

    Re: please correct my small essay

    That is a daunting slab of text. Please break it down into paragraphs using the "Edit Post" function.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. rock-onn's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Malayalam
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Jul 2016
    • Posts: 250
    #3

    Re: please correct my small essay

    I live in Cochin city and I am from a village which is 100 km north . I found lots of western food shop in this city . It has become a new business in our place . Most of them are franchisees like KFC , MC Donald's , Subway , Pizza Hut, etc...

    Western foods are different from our traditional foods which use lots of spices . It is more expensive than our traditional foods . People usually prefer their own traditional food . Some they just try western foods for a change and people like me are few who is fond of these foods . People usually consider it as luxury foods and it is considered as food of rich people . Our people take large quantity of food for a meal and if they go for a western food like burger they won't be satisfied because it doesn't fill their stomach and they would be still hungry . It is the youth usually who go for western food and the old usually hold on to their traditional food . I am very health conscious and I take less quantity of food and for me a burger would satisfy my hunger . Since burger is high calorie food I take twice a month only .

    Lots of our youth started to go for this business and some don't have enough money to franchisee a branded shops like MC Donald's and so they come up with their own label . I usually walk from my office to my rented house and one day I noticed a shop named Burger Lab which I didn't hear before . I thought it is good idea to try this new shop . Their burger is too tasty and delicious and I became their regular customer and I stopped going to MC Donald's because I prefer burger lab's burger . I found out that these people do experiments and discover new burgers and they have 9 variants of burger . I learned that the owners of this shop are three youths and also they are from a village which is just 20 km from my village . Some youth dare to invest this kind of business which are very risky .

    Burger shop business is very risky business in our place . It is youth who are rich go for these kind of food . Some consider it as food of the rich and . So they deliberately avoid these food . Some they don't like it tastes . Some they consider it as unhealthy food because of high calorie content . In short , only a minority would go for such food and it is a business focusing on such people . For these reasons , people invest in such business only in cities where population is high and so they have enough customers . Nevertheless , some took risk started burger shop in villages . There is a burger shop near my village which is around just 3 km from my house . It is not a branded shop and it is not that tasty . Last month a new burger shop opened near our village which is just 7 km from my house . I would say that food habit is changing in our place .

    KFC is well accepted by majority in our place, but when it comes to burger only a minority go for it . I prefer pizza to burger but that is too expensive . I also like subway but that is not yet very popular . Western foods are tasty but not that healthy because of their high calorie content . The recent trend in our place is that youth they venture to open western food shops and food habits of our people are also changing .
    Last edited by rock-onn; 07-Aug-2016 at 08:03.

  4. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #4

    Re: please correct my small essay

    Quote Originally Posted by rock-onn View Post
    I live in Cochin city, and but I am from a village which is 100 km north. I found lots of Western food shops in this city. It has become a They are mostly new businesses in our place . Most of them and usually are franchisees of the likes of KFC, McDonald's, Subway, Pizza Hut, etc.

    Western foods are different from our traditional foods which use lots of spices. It is They are also more expensive than our traditional foods. People here usually prefer their own traditional food, but some they just try Western foods for a change, and people those like me are few who is are fond of these foods are in the minority. People usually consider it Western food as a luxury foods and it is considered as food of that is only for rich people. Our people take eat large quantities of food for during a meal, and if they go for a Western food like such as a burger, they won't be satisfied because it doesn't fill their stomach and they would be still hungry. It is the youth usually who go for Western food, and while the old usually hold on stick to their traditional food. I am very health conscious, and I take less eat small quantities of food; and for me, a burger would satisfy my hunger. Since a burger is high in calories, food I take eat one twice a month only.

    Lots of our youth started to go for this business and Western fast-food restaurants are an attractive business proposition, but some people don't have enough money to become a franchisee a branded shop like McDonald's, and so they come up with their own label brand name. I usually walk from my office to my rented house and One day on my way back home from work, I noticed a shop named Burger Lab which I hadn't didn't heard of before. I thought it is might be good idea to try this new shop. Their burger is too tasty and was delicious,and so I became their regular customer, and I stopped going to McDonald's because I prefer Burger Lab's burgers. I found out that these people do experiment s and to try and discover new recipes for burgers, and they currently have 9 variants types of burger on their menu. I learned that the owners of this shop are three youths and also they are from a village which is just 20 km from my village. Some youth young people dare to invest in this kind of business despite the high which are very risk.

    Burger shop business is very risky business in our place . On the whole, it is mostly youth rich young people who are rich go for go to these kinds of restaurants. food . Some The majority consider it as food of the rich, and . so they deliberately avoid these places. food . Some they don't like it the taste, s . Some they while others consider it as unhealthy food because of the high calorie content. In short, only a minority would go for such food. and it is a business focusing on such people . For these reasons, people entrepreneurs invest in such businesses only in cities where the population is high and so they have enough customers. Nevertheless, some took risks and started burger shops in small villages. There is a burger shop Near my village, which is around there is a burger shop just 3 km from my house. It is not a branded shop and it their food is not that tasty. Last month another new burger shop opened near our village which is just about 7 km from my house. I would say that food eating habits are is changing in our society. place .

    KFC is well accepted by the majority in our place, but when it comes to burgers, only a minority like them. go for it . I prefer pizza to burgers, but that is too expensive. I also like Subway, but that is not yet very popular here. Western foods are tasty but not that healthy because of their high calorie content. The recent trend in our place is that youth they venture to open western food shops and food habits of our people are also changing .
    .

  5. rock-onn's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Malayalam
      • Home Country:
      • India
      • Current Location:
      • India

    • Join Date: Jul 2016
    • Posts: 250
    #5

    Re: please correct my small essay

    A big thanks to the correction. I have to work a lot. I have started to work hard.
    May God bless you.

  6. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #6

    Re: please correct my small essay

    Quote Originally Posted by rock-onn View Post
    A big thanks to for the correction.
    When you're being grateful, use "thanks to" with a person, and "thanks for" with a thing. For example,

    - I want to say thanks to all the team members for their great effort.
    - Thanks for all your unwavering support throughout the years.

    However, note that "thanks to" is also used to mean because (not to say thank you). In that case it can be used either with a person or with a thing. For example,

    - Thanks to you, the customer got scared and may not ever come back.
    - The migraine is largely under control, thanks to the new tablets.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 28-Feb-2013, 23:50
  2. [General] Can someone tell what i'm doing wrong in this small essay
    By bash89 in forum Literature
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 21-Feb-2011, 01:56
  3. [Essay] Small essay, please comment on it.
    By rashidjon in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 26-Apr-2010, 11:13
  4. Please, could you correct my first small essay
    By flame in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 27-Oct-2009, 06:32
  5. [Essay] Small Essay
    By Ulysses in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 01-Aug-2009, 05:51

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •