Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 12
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • Spain

    • Join Date: Aug 2016
    • Posts: 3
    #1

    Writing about poverty

    The text in bold was corrected by my teacher. I will be very pleased if you could point out any more mistakes. Thank you in advance!

    Nowadays, it is a well-established fact that a huge large number of countries suffer from poverty. Among the different reasons that explain why they are in such a trouble, wars are arguably the most important one, followed by economical economic recessions . Likewise, a lack of resources can affect negatively this these countries. Despite the fact that the causes of entering situations of misery and big poverty are well known, the solutions are not as clear as it was expected to be.

    First of all, It is common knowledge that, since escaping from this situation is not a piece of cake, poor countries ask for help to rich ones. However, there are different points of view on whether it this is a good solution or not.

    On the one hand, there are people who believe that poor countries have to get out of the poverty by themselves. Those people think that this is the responsibility of the country’s government to deal with it. They also consider that if poor countries have debts with wealthy countries they have to pay them as soon as possible.

    On the other hand, fortunately, there is another side of the coin. There are other people who think that when it is needed, wealthy countries should provide the poorer ones with the basic needs. This way, little by little poor countries would recover their regular levels of food, healthcare, education, goods and services. In addition, they believe that rich countries can forgive debts from poor countries until the latter get have recovered from poverty.

    From my honest opinion, wealthy countries should lend a helping hand to poorer countries so as to help them to recover. From my own knowledge, it is important to bear in mind the expression "what goes around comes around". Today, there are people who are way too close-minded and do not think out of the box think outside the box but they just think for their own sake. If I could, I would like to tell them that, if one day their country were in poverty, they would like to have support from others. Everyone deserves a good level of life and as far as I am concerned, if I had the opportunity to help others, I would act properly cooperating with good measures and helping them as much as possible.
    Last edited by sofiarica94; 12-Aug-2016 at 13:54.

  1. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,060
    #2

    Re: Writing about poverty

    First of all, poverty is the default human condition. It is prosperity that needs to be explained.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,832
    #3

    Re: Writing about poverty

    "... can affect negatively these countries" is a rather non-native word order. A native would write "... can affect these countries negatively" or "can have a negative effect on these countries".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,832
    #4

    Re: Writing about poverty

    Quote Originally Posted by sofiarica94 View Post
    Despite the fact that the causes of entering situations of misery and big poverty are well known, the solutions are not as clear as it was they were expected to be.
    I have underlined unnatural collocations. I have corrected a singular/plural error.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,060
    #5

    Re: Writing about poverty

    Say:

    Among the reasons that explain why they are in such trouble, wars are arguably the most important one, followed by economic recessions.

    The United States and Japan were involved in a terrible war with each other. Also, the US abandoned the New Deal.

    Hong Kong has very little in the way of material resources, but it has one of the highest per capita incomes in the world. Then there is Singapore, one of the most economically free countries in the world.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,060
    #6

    Re: Writing about poverty

    Say:

    Likewise, a lack of resources can affect these countries negatively.

    (See post #3.)

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,060
    #7

    Re: Writing about poverty

    Perhaps:

    Since it is not easy to achieve prosperity, poor countries ask for help from rich ones.

  7. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,832
    #8

    Re: Writing about poverty

    Quote Originally Posted by sofiarica94 View Post

    Those people think that this is the responsibility of the country’s government to deal with it.
    This sentence should be either:

    Those people think that it is the responsibility of the country's government to deal with it.
    or
    Those people think that this is the responsibility of the country's government.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,060
    #9

    Re: Writing about poverty

    You seem to assume that countries that are poor today were once prosperous, but what is the evidence for that?

    The phrase "think outside the box" has become a cliche. It's boring.

    You have used plenty of words to say nothing at all. (Well, you did make a case for foreign aid.)

    If you have any questions, ask them.

  9. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #10

    Re: Writing about poverty

    - Avoid using informal expressions and idioms (such as "piece of cake" and "what goes around, comes around') in your essays.

    - "From my honest opinion" should be "In my honest opinion", but "honest" in unnecessary.

    - I don't understand what you mean by "cooperating with good measures"; it sounds highly unnatural to me.

Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. [Grammar] Come From Poverty
    By irane in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 07-Nov-2013, 11:23
  2. poverty line
    By keannu in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 15-Sep-2013, 01:13
  3. Down and Out = poverty-stricken?
    By NewHopeR in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 16-Feb-2012, 15:09
  4. that they must face with poverty
    By angliholic in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 01-Dec-2007, 17:27

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •