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  1. Richard Braintree's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • France

    • Join Date: Jul 2016
    • Posts: 3
    #1

    Translated from french, text for a video

    Hello everyone.
    First of all, thanks for your time.
    I recently made a short video containing some text in french language.
    I would like this video to be available to the non french speakers, so I tried to translate it in english.
    Here is what I've done, could you review it and correct what is wrong ?


    You could have done
    so many things.
    Is it too late, already ?
    Only you can tell.


    "The first step is always the hardest"
    Why not start with the second one ?
    A nice trick, for sure !
    Alas, quite the false move.
    I would stop, and turn back, if not for my pride.
    Drifting farther, I now face the consequences
    With the dreadful feeling I've forgotten the gist
    Why should I even go on ?


    Had I taken a little step back,
    I would have realised these limits were here
    solely because I wished they were.


    I crafted many pieces,
    but they never belonged to the same puzzle.
    How to get the full picture, then ?


    I don't bother denying it anymore :
    I lack something.
    I won't seek the answer in other people's work,
    lest I should find !
    Then I could only concede
    How wrong I was.
    The irony...
    I only wish to move on !


    Where to go, where's the guiding theme ?
    How can I deliver a message...
    When I'm unaware of its content ?
    Nobody ever gave me direction...
    Did they ?
    If so, I wasn't listening.


    Suddenly, the solution appears :
    Stop, and take stock.
    A break is never a loss of time.
    I needed insight, to get back to reality.


    How am I supposed to shine ?
    When there are already too many stars ?


    Finally, the harshest critic...
    was it me ?


    Please, correct.
    Thank you !

  2. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #2

    Re: Translated from french, text for a video

    Quote Originally Posted by Richard Braintree View Post
    Alas, quite the false move.

    With the dreadful feeling I've forgotten the gist
    Whatever about the rest of it, the above lines certainly don't work for me.

    --------------------------------------------------------
    Quote Originally Posted by Richard Braintree View Post
    lest I should find it!
    A break is never a loss waste of time.

  3. Richard Braintree's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • France

    • Join Date: Jul 2016
    • Posts: 3
    #3

    Re: Translated from french, text for a video

    Thanks, Teechar.

    I was not sure how to use "gist".
    I reckon it's the kind of word I hardly see.

    The text might sound strange. It's because it is strange in french, too.
    But I simply don't want to upload a video with completely incorrect sentences, or grammar.

    From what you've read, and putting aside the fact that some sentences have a limited meaning, do you think the rest is grammatically correct ?

    Again, thanks for your time.

  4. teechar's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 6,180
    #4

    Re: Translated from french, text for a video

    Quote Originally Posted by Richard Braintree View Post
    From what you've read, and putting aside the fact that some sentences have a limited meaning, do you think the rest is grammatically correct ?
    Yes, it's okay to use as the audio commentary for an online video.

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 41,861
    #5

    Re: Translated from french, text for a video

    Quote Originally Posted by Richard Braintree View Post
    Hello everyone.
    First of all, thanks for your time.
    I recently made a short video containing some text in French. language. I would like this video to be available to the non-French speakers (no comma required here) so I tried to translate it into English.
    Here is what I've done. Could you review it and correct what is wrong?



    Please (no comma here) correct it.
    Thank you!
    Note my corrections to the parts of your post which aren't the translation. Remember to capitalise proper nouns and that there is no need for a space before a closing punctuation mark.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. Richard Braintree's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • French
      • Home Country:
      • France
      • Current Location:
      • France

    • Join Date: Jul 2016
    • Posts: 3
    #6

    Re: Translated from french, text for a video

    emsr2d2, I had no idea that the rules for spacing were not the same in English and in French.
    I will remember this.
    Thanks again!

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