[Grammar] My problem is you/your smoking.

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shshoo

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hi . are any of these sentences correct grammatically : 'my problem is you smoking' , 'my problem is your smoking' , 'my problem is him coming back home' , 'my problem is his coming back home'
the first two sentences used when talking about something done regularly or in the present time and the last ones for when talking about the future .
are any of them common ? written or spoken English . articles , book , newspapers , conversations .
thank you .
 

emsr2d2

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Re: object pronouns

Your entire post is littered with errors, unfortunately. It is important to follow these rules of written English at all times:

- Start every sentence with a capital letter.
- End every sentence with a single, appropriate punctuation mark.
- Always capitalise the word "I" (first person singular) and all proper nouns (English, Microsoft, Shakespeare etc).
- Do not put a space before a full stop, comma, question mark or exclamation mark.
- Always put a space after a full stop, comma, question mark or exclamation mark.

Taking that advice on board, now click on "Edit Post" and correct the errors in your post. After that, we can look at your actual question.
 

Rover_KE

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Re: object pronouns

Please note that I have changed your thread title.

Extract from the Posting Guidelines:

'
Thread titles should include all or part of the word/phrase being discussed.'
 

shshoo

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Re: object pronouns

i don't understand your anger . and i don't see why that much rudeness in your response was needed ! I'm sorry . I'll try to find another website where they try to answer my "actual question" . thank you !!!
 

Rover_KE

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Re: object pronouns

The loss is yours.

I sense no anger or rudeness. In fact you have had an excellent, free lesson on setting out your question according to the standard rules of written English.
 
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shshoo

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Re: object pronouns

I can pay for it if you like ! But befor that i need to take a look at them cause i dont remener what they were !!
 

shshoo

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Re: object pronouns

No . Thanks . I dont want to waste your free time anymore . If i hade known english was so difficult i would have never started it in the first place ! But please try to treat people better . This is my advice ! Im sure you can help others if you want to .
 

shshoo

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Re: object pronouns

Because i asked you a question and expected you to answer that very question . This not a classroom and im not your student . Im not native and my comments may contain loads of mistakes of any kind but i came here just to get an answer i wouldnt be in a hurry normally i could wait until i learn that through books . It is urgent since theres a discussion on the matter in my class ! And i dont understand your insistence !!!
 
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emsr2d2

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1. This is a classroom! It's a huge, wonderful, free​ classroom!
2. We correct all errors.
3. If you had followed my advice and corrected post 1, you would have have had an answer to your question by now.
4. If you decide to stay on the forum, remember that we don't help with homework or class assignments.
 

shshoo

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Its not homework ! Just something me and my teacher have different opinions on ! Ok . Theres no point in staying anymore . Please delete my account if you have access to . I never spend time on trivia. Thanks .
 

ChinaDan

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hi . are any of these sentences correct grammatically : 'my problem is you smoking' , 'my problem is your smoking' , 'my problem is him coming back home' , 'my problem is his coming back home'
the first two sentences used when talking about something done regularly or in the present time and the last ones for when talking about the future .
are any of them common ? written or spoken English . articles , book , newspapers , conversations .
thank you .

First; a disclaimer. I'm not big on grammar; I'm a life-student of the acquisition approach. In other words, I'm going to answer your question based on years of reading, listening, writing, and speaking. I was waiting to see if someone would give you a solid grammatical response. That doesn't look like it will happen, so...

I'm going to tell you that all your sentences are okay for common usage. As a native speaker, I completely understand your meaning in every case. If I was writing formally, however, I would certainly rephrase, for example, "I dislike it when you smoke in the house".

Lets look at the first two sentences. In both cases, your message is the same; the person you are speaking to smokes, and you are not happy about that fact. Each sentence delivers this message in a subtly different way, however. "...you smoking" is directed at his action of smoking. "...your smoking" is directed at his habit of smoking. The "act" versus the "habit".

Your second pair of sentences likewise deliver the same message, "you aren't happy about his return", but again the him/his creates a change in the specific focus of what you have a problem with. "...him coming back home" is referring to the return as an event. "Today it rained, there was a traffic jam on Main Street, and that guy returned to the city". Just one more event in a list of things that have happened.

'...his coming back home". "His", as you should know, denotes ownership. Now we are viewing this as a feature or attribute of that person. It evokes for me a sense that you assign blame to him for your discomfort.

To put this another way, if you said to me, "...him coming back home", I would infer that you are unhappy about the fact of his presence, while if you said to me, "...his coming back home", I would infer that you are unhappy about his decision to come back.

The differences between these sentences really are rather inconsequential. Both clearly state you are unhappy about something; the differences only become important if the exact reason why you are unhappy is important to your audience.
 

ChinaDan

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1. This is a classroom! It's a huge, wonderful, free​ classroom!
2. We correct all errors.
3. If you had followed my advice and corrected post 1, you would have have had an answer to your question by now.

4. If you decide to stay on the forum, remember that we don't help with homework or class assignments.

I teach a TEFL course here in China. One of the most important skills for an EFL teacher to learn is the ability to create a safe, comfortable environment in which learners feel able to make mistakes. This is called Lowering the Affective Filter. An Affective Filter is anything that impairs or interferes with a student's ability to learn.

[2] It is rarely productive to correct all errors. You are insisting on perfection, and that is the opposite of creating an environment where learners feel comfortable enough to make mistakes.

[3] Why be shy? Just grab a large piece of wood, write Board of Education on it, and beat the students liberally with it. You are setting a price for your help, demanding compliance before you will deign to offer assistance.

I understand there are rules, and why users should follow them, but please; guide them towards this, don't beat them with it.

Several posts I've read in this thread are just driving a learner away. You guys are building affective filters.
 

Rover_KE

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I suggest that you encourage shshoo to reach 10 posts. After that you will be able to help them by private messages to your heart's content. Alternatively you may be able to send them an email to answer their questions.

Some newbies, like shshoo, seem to think that our established practices can be overridden willy-nilly just as it suits them after only a very short acquaintance with the way the forum operates.

(Cross-posted with Piscean.)
 

shshoo

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Thanks . It was helpful . But i didnt get the paragraph starting with this :"to put this another way" . Are you mentioning the difference between something that has already happened and something happening in the future . Like i'm not happy because he's here now and i'm not happy because he's going to come here ? .
 

shshoo

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I looket at some other posts and there were the same mistakes ! Do your rules only apply to me . Thanks . Anyway !
 

Matthew Wai

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They apply to all members. I use terrible English elsewhere but always try to use proper English here because I don't want to break the rules.
 

shshoo

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Can i beg you not to mention me again ! Then i promise not to write anyting here never ever . Thank you so called "teachers"! Enjoy each others company .
 

shshoo

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And . We dont need nooooo education !!
 

Matthew Wai

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I am not a teacher here, so don't blame me.

Are you mentioning the difference between something that has already happened and something happening in the future .
I think the difference lies between the event of 'him coming back home' and the decision of 'his coming back home'.
 

Matthew Wai

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Please forgive me for having to mention gerunds and present participles again.

'Doing' is a participle modifying 'him' in 'him doing something', so 'him' is the focus.
'Doing' is a gerund modified by 'his' in 'his doing something', so 'doing' is the focus.
 
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