[Application] Can you please have a look at my short essay(100 word maximum)

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Abkr08

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Hello everyone, I'm having a hard time writing this short essay about my personal and academic goals. I checked on the internet to see some samples but couldn't find any so I wrote one and want you guys to check it out

Growing up as the only kid of the family, there was nothing more important to my parents than my education. They did everything they could to keep me in school. That made me understand the value of education from a young age.
My academic goals are to obtain a degree in Computer Engineering from a reputable university, further my education and be one of the few in my community to earn a PhD. My personal goals are to loose weight, give back to my community and impact as many lives as possible
 

emsr2d2

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When are you going to submit your essay to your teacher/tutor to be marked or graded?
 

Abkr08

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When are you going to submit your essay to your teacher/tutor to be marked or graded?
It's for college application and the deadline is December 10
 

emsr2d2

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It's for my college application and the deadline is December 10.

I don't think it would be fair for us to assist. Although it's not homework or an assignment, presumably your essay will have some impact on whether you are accepted or not. If we help, we will be giving you an unfair advantage over other applicants.
 

Abkr08

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Okay thanks. Can you please delete the thread?
 

teechar

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Hi Abkr08,
I don't think a 100-word motivational essay/letter would impress anyone. You need to try and convince the reader of your suitability for the study program.

You should be able to find lots of examples of motivational letters (on this site and on other English forums) and get ideas from them about what to write. If you need help with a motivational letter, then try to write a more substantial one, and post it to the Letter Writing sub-forum.
 

emsr2d2

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Hello everyone, I'm having a hard time writing this short essay about my personal and academic goals. I checked on the internet to see some samples but couldn't find any so I wrote one and want you guys to check it out

Growing up as the only kid of the family, there was nothing more important to my parents than my education. They did everything they could to keep me in school. That made me understand the value of education from a young age.
My academic goals are to obtain a degree in Computer Engineering from a reputable university, further my education and be one of the few in my community to earn a PhD. My personal goals are to loose weight, give back to my community and impact as many lives as possible


As it says at the top of the page, posts cannot be deleted from this section. I will close the thread though.

(Contents of post #1 quoted above in case deletion is attempted.)
 
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