[General] Please Check my FCE essay.

[yuriko200]

Hi, I have my FCE exam in two weeks, so I'm practicing my writing. Could you tell me if that is ok?


Although new technologies have become the base of our society, there are people who prefer to do without them, in my opinion, they are making a huge mistake.

First of all the advances in medicine have become crucial in the fight against infections, thanks to that, the human race has exterminated mortal diseases that had killed millions before, like smallpox. Furthermore, we have the possibility to choose among a wide range of mind-blowing TV shows, films, and books without the prohibitions of ancient times.

On the other hand, nowadays the traditional forms of communication are being forgotten by the youngsters, who prefer to send instant messages instead of having face to face conversations.

In conclusion, I think that despite the lack of human interaction, the infinite amount of possibilities that recent technologies provide us with is much more worthy.

 

[rock-onn]

Not a teacher

http://www.rubenvalero.com/english/content/fce-essay

http://i0.wp.com/eperon1.tripod.com/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderpictures/5par.jpg

Please read the above link I have pasted and follow the instruction given in that pages.

 

[teechar]

Hi, I have my FCE exam in two weeks, so I'm practicing my writing. Could you tell me if [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] the passage below is OK?


Although new technologies have become [STRIKE]the base of our[/STRIKE] widespread in modern society, there are people who prefer to do without them. In my opinion, they are making a huge mistake.

First of all, the advances in medicine have become crucial in the fight against infections, and thanks to that, the human race has exterminated [STRIKE]mortal[/STRIKE] many deadly diseases, such as smallpox, that had killed millions before. [STRIKE], like smallpox.[/STRIKE] Furthermore, thanks to new technologies, we now have the [STRIKE]possibility[/STRIKE] luxury of being able to choose [STRIKE]among[/STRIKE] from a wide range of [STRIKE]mind-blowing[/STRIKE] TV shows, films, and books without the [STRIKE]prohibitions[/STRIKE] limitations of the past. [STRIKE]ancient times.[/STRIKE]

On the other hand, nowadays [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] many traditional forms of communication, like writing letters, are being forgotten and are almost foreign to [STRIKE]by the[/STRIKE] youngsters today, who often prefer to send instant messages instead of having face-to-face conversations.

In conclusion, I think that despite the lack of human interaction, the infinite amount of possibilities that recent technologies provide us with is very useful and beneficial. [STRIKE]much more worthy.[/STRIKE]

Next time, try to write a little more. You're doing very well.

 

[teechar]

that pages.

I would strongly urge you to learn basic grammar first before providing advice to other learners.

 

[yuriko200]

Thank you VERY VERY much, I'm really worried about this part of the exam. I'll follow your advice, also I'll be uploading more exercises like that one, if you could check them up, I'll be thankful ♥

 

[tedmc]

I'll follow your advice. Also, I'll be [STRIKE]uploading[/STRIKE] posting more exercises like that one. If you could check them [STRIKE]up[/STRIKE], I'll be thankful.

Be careful with your punctuations.

Please read the above link I have pasted and follow the instructions given in [STRIKE]that[/STRIKE] those pages.

 

[teechar]

Be careful with your punctuation.

.