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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    I need some help to verify my writing

    Part one
    In the article “Death Penalty: It’s not Even the Beginning of a Solution” by Pierre De Vos, who is a law professor at the University of Cape Town Law Faculty, discussed that death penalty should not be reintroduced in the South Africa.
    His article is a part of the opinion in the South Africa. His primary audiences who read his article are South Africans because most his articles are about the inequitable laws in South Africa.
    Vos claimed that reintroduction death penalty will become a huge social problem in South Africa and will magnify inherent inequalities between race and class. Though many South Africans campaign for reintroduction death penalty for two reasons, deter criminals from murder and revenge, Voc argued that death penalty is a cruel and violent act for the citizen of South Africans. A prison sentence can be a way to replace the death penalty in South Africa. Voc pointed out that “in South Africa, only a small minority of violent criminals are actually caught” (Voc). Many offenders get away with murder. Race and class play a significant role in the death penalty.
    Poor black people are always at the bottom of the social scale so there is a high percentage of them to be sentenced to death. Also poor black people don’t have enough money to hire experienced counsels. The defending counsels of those black people are inexperienced. Most experienced counsels do not want to help poor black people. Rich people, on the other hand, have money to hire experienced counsels, so most of them are less likely to be sentenced to death. Race and class also play a potential role in determining murderer’s live and dies.

    Part Two
    I believe that the argument Voc made about South Africa’s new law is effective. Voc clearly understands the background and social issue in the South Africa. He compared two groups of people, race, and class, who will receive a different sentence. A high percentage of poor black people sentence to death, however, less of while people sentenced to death if they have some crime. Here is a support from his writing “Because race and class play a role in the quality of the legal representation that an accused person receives, it is likely that a disproportionate number of poor black people will be sentenced to death”(Voc). People are divided by race and class in South Africa.
    The purpose of the South African government to reintroduce death penalty is to reduce the number of criminals. Nevertheless, it does not have much effect because most criminals run away. I agree with Voc that improving criminal justice system is better than reintroducing the death penalty. In order to decrease the number of criminals, the government should have a good system to follow up with the case. When more criminals are caught, it is the best way to awe other criminals. As Voc wrote: “the greatest deterrent to crime is the likelihood that offenders will apprehend, convicted and punished” (Voc).
    Here is one of the weakness parts of the article. Voc mentions that there is inequality between race and class in the social scale, but he only compares in the class and offers some example about wealthy people and poor people. There is not any information to compare with poor black and poor white people. Also, he claims that executing a prisoner is brutal, but he does not give any reason. However, although there are some weaknesses in the article, it still convinces me to agree with him.
    I agree with him because the reason he provided clearly shows the inequality in the South Africa. Most of the black people may sentence to dead if the death penalty is reintroduced. In order to treat South African more equality, the death penalty should be prohibited. It should be replaced by a prison sentence. It is important to treat people with more equality, otherwise, revolt may happen in the south Africa.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: I need some help to verify my writing

    What is the purpose of this piece? What are you going to do with it once it's corrected?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Newbie
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    #3

    Re: I need some help to verify my writing

    i just want to improve my writing and see what kind of mistakes i usually made

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: I need some help to verify my writing

    Quote Originally Posted by dongcan View Post
    I just want to improve my writing and see what kind of mistakes I usually made make.
    Please see my corrections above. I don't have time to look at your piece of writing at the moment. I will look at it tomorrow if someone else doesn't check it first.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. teechar's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: I need some help to verify my writing

    Quote Originally Posted by dongcan View Post
    Part one
    In the his article “Death Penalty: It’s not Even the Beginning of a Solution”, by Pierre de Vos, who is a law professor at the University of Cape Town Law Faculty, discussed argues that the death penalty should not be reintroduced in the South Africa.

    His articles is a part of the are considered to inform public opinion in the South Africa. His primary audience who read his article are South Africans because most his articles are concerned about the inequitable laws in South Africa.

    De Vos claimed that reintroducing tion the death penalty will become a huge would lead to immense social problems in South Africa and will magnify inherent inequalities between according to race and class. Though Many South Africans campaign for the reintroduction of the death penalty for two reasons - deterring potential criminals from committing murder and seeking justice, revenge, but Voc de Vos argues that the death penalty is a cruel and violent act and should not be part of the for the citizen of South African penal code. A prison sentence can be a viable alternative way to replace to the death penalty in South Africa. De Vos points ed out that “in South Africa, only a small minority of violent criminals are actually caught” (Voc) and that many offenders, literally, get away with murder. He adds that race and class play a significant role in the debate about the death penalty.

    Poor black people are always at the bottom of the social scale, so there is a high percentage of them to be are sentenced to death in murder trials. Also poor black De Vos explains that such people typically don’t have enough money to hire experienced counsels, and that the defending counsels of those black people who represent them are often inexperienced as most experienced counsels do not want to help poor black people. Rich people, on the other hand, have money to hire experienced counsels, so most of them are less likely to be sentenced to death in such trials. Race and class also play a potential role in determining whether a murderer lives and or dies.

    Part Two
    I believe that the argument de Vos makes about South Africa’s proposed new law is effective. De Vos clearly understands the background and the social issues in the South Africa. He compares two groups of people, based on race, and class, who will receive a different sentence for the same crime. A high percentage of poor black people get sentenced to death when convicted, however, less of compared with their richer white counterparts. while people sentenced to death if they have some crime. Here is a support from his writing He says, “Because race and class play a role in the quality of the legal representation that an accused person receives, it is likely that a disproportionate number of poor black people will be sentenced to death”(Voc). Thus, de Vos affirms that people are divided by race and class in South Africa.

    The purpose of the South African government wants to reintroduce the death penalty is to reduce the number of violent crimes. inals. Nevertheless, it that policy does not is not likely to have much of an effect because most criminals are not caught. run away. I agree with de Vos that improving the criminal justice system is better than reintroducing the death penalty. In order to decrease the number of criminals, the government should have a good system to follow up with the case. [I have absolutely no idea what that means.] When more criminals are caught, those thinking about committing crime are more likely to be deterred. it is the best way to awe other criminals. As de Vos says, wrote: “the greatest deterrent to crime is the likelihood that offenders will be apprehend, convicted and punished.(Voc).

    Here is one of the weakness parts of Nevertheless, the article does have its weak points. For example, de Vos mentions that there is inequality between based on race and class in South Africa, the social scale, but he only compares in the class and offers some example about wealthy people and poor people. There is does not give any information examples to compare with poor black and poor white people when it comes to criminal justice. Also, he claims that executing a prisoner is brutal, but he does not give any reason [That's not true; he describes it as "cruel" and "violent"; see above!]. However, although there are some weaknesses in the article, I find it convincing, and overall, it still convinces me to I agree with the author. him.

    I agree with him because the reason he provided clearly shows the that inequality is still a major problem in the South Africa. Most of the black people convicts may be sentenced to death if the death penalty is reintroduced. In order to treat South Africans more equally, ity, the death penalty should be prohibited. It should be replaced by a prison sentence. It is important to treat people with more equality, otherwise, people may revolt may happen in the south Africa.
    .

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