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  1. Odessa Dawn's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Arabic
      • Home Country:
      • Saudi Arabia
      • Current Location:
      • Saudi Arabia

    • Join Date: Aug 2012
    • Posts: 1,532
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    songs are my ways to feel things ...

    1- Those two beautiful songs are my ways to feel things, and offer me some relief.

    2- Those two beautiful songs are my ways to feel things. They offer me some relief.

    What would the simpler and clearer English be?

    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Sep 2016
    • Posts: 357
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    Re: songs are my ways to feel things ...

    The thing that strikes me about your sentences is that they lack purpose. They don't really tell me anything.

    "Those two songs are my ways to feel calm. They offer me peace". Now I am telling you something meaningful. I understand you are experimenting, but your sentences don't have a point, and so they are vague and unrealistic.

    Try to think of a real context in which you have something to say. This will be better practice for you. Probably make it easier for us to give you advice too.

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