Results 1 to 4 of 4
  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • German
      • Home Country:
      • Germany
      • Current Location:
      • Germany

    • Join Date: Mar 2016
    • Posts: 3
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #1

    Applying for a big company !!!

    Hey guys !! my cover letter below. is it good? can u help me correct this?? I reaaaaallly want that job and its a very awesome job for me !! and a super awesome company !! thank you alot :))






    Dear Ms. xxx,

    My name is xxx and I am xx years old. I am currently studying Mechanical Engineering at the University of xxx and in the following winter semester I will be in the x. semester. I would like to apply for the occupation as a working student in the area of Controlling & Accounting for the Digital Operations Team at your company thyssenkrupp Elevator AG.

    I consider your company thyssenkrupp Elevator AG and the thyssenkrupp AG in general as very lucrative and competent, because you can learn a lot in such a large and successful group. To be able to gather work experience at thyssenkrupp Elevator AG while being a student would be a special advantage for my future career as a Mechanical Engineer.
    I am interested in this occupation, because through this work I will be able to have an insight in the daily course of business of the thyssenkrupp Elevator AG, especially in the Area of Controlling & Accounting. To have additional knowledge and work experience in a business-related area would be advantageous and a great additional feature for my career. I also believe, that I will be able to use this experience as a leverage, should I ever decide to move my career in a more business-focused direction.
    Most importantly though, I would like to impress you and your company thyssenkrupp Elevator AG positively of my way of working and my work ethic through practical work, by completing my tasks properly and in an orderly conduct. My aim therefore is to leave a good impression of me at your company.

    In exchange of that I would like to offer you my quick learning ability. I am very reliable and I have a willingness to work.
    I have acquired an analytical capability of thinking by working with my ambitious fellow students. Moreover, I learned through my work as a shop assistant to deal with challenges and difficult situations.
    I also like to take the lead and I am ready to take a position as a leader for a project or a part of a project, as long as there is a possibility for a student in this area.

    I will be attending a class called “Business Administration for Engineers” in the following winter semester, which will provide me a basic understanding of business administration. This way, I will be able to understand and assist you on your daily work processes and operations related to the field of business.

    The qualification which I can offer you is my advanced knowledge in MS-Office, especially in MS-Word, MS-Excel and MS-Powerpoint. Furthermore, I am fluent in spoken and written English and German.

    My earliest possible starting date is the 09.01.2017. I am ready to work for 20 hours per week during the semester and 40 hours a week in the semester break.

    I would be very happy about a positive response.

    If you need more information or have any further questions, you can contact me anytime.


    Yours sincerely,

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 34,374
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #2

    Re: Applying for a big company !!!

    Quote Originally Posted by beep21 View Post
    Hey guys everyone! !! Don't refer to us all as "guys" - it excludes all our female members. One punctuation mark is enough at the end of any sentence.

    My cover letter is below. Is it good? Can you help me correct this? ?? I reaaaaallly really want that job and it's an very awesome job for me !! and a super-awesome company! !! Thank you alot very much. :))
    I don't have time to look at your letter at the moment. However, please look at my corrections above. It's important to write full, standard English words on the forum. "u" and "reaaaaalllly" don't exist. Always follow these rules of written English:

    - Start every sentence with a capital letter.
    - End every sentence with one, appropriate punctuation mark.
    - Always capitalise the word "I".
    - Don't put a space before a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.
    - Always put a space after a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • German
      • Home Country:
      • Germany
      • Current Location:
      • Germany

    • Join Date: Mar 2016
    • Posts: 3
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #3

    Re: Applying for a big company !!!

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I don't have time to look at your letter at the moment. However, please look at my corrections above. It's important to write full, standard English words on the forum. "u" and "reaaaaalllly" don't exist. Always follow these rules of written English:

    - Start every sentence with a capital letter.
    - End every sentence with one, appropriate punctuation mark.
    - Always capitalise the word "I".
    - Don't put a space before a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.
    - Always put a space after a comma, full stop, question mark or exclamation mark.

    Lol.. thank you very much for your help kind sir.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 34,374
    • Post Thanks / Like
    #4

    Re: Applying for a big company !!!

    Quote Originally Posted by beep21 View Post
    Lol. I don't know why you thought it was funny.

    Thank you very much for your help. kind sir. Please don't refer to users here as "Sir". It's unnecessarily formal and it excludes all our female members.
    See above.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Similar Threads

  1. ABC Company is a profitable medium company
    By Winwin2011 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 28-Jun-2014, 01:48
  2. big break? = big success or just a breakthrough?
    By keannu in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 25-Jan-2011, 20:13
  3. [Vocabulary] your company / company's growth / company's success
    By uktous in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 19-Mar-2010, 17:03
  4. Company A Chooses or Selects assets of Company B
    By Julia_K in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 24-Jan-2006, 00:35

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •