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  1. Member
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    #1

    an unnatural dialogue

    (Two boys are on the phone)
    Jack: Hello, is Mike in?
    Mike: Speaking.

    Jack: Mike, the school sports meet is coming tomorrow. Let
    s go together.
    Mike: OK. What shall we take?

    Jack: We
    ll take our sports clothes and sports shoes
    .
    ...
    (from an English textbook in China)

    I don
    t think this dialogue is natural.
    1.
    Usually, the person who answers a phone call speaks first. But this one does follow the routine.
    2.
    Jack invites Mike to go to school together tomorrow. I think he should say Lets go to school together tomorrow. People usually say Lets go together when they start to do something.
    3. What shall we take? is ambiguous. People will misunderstand it as what sports shall we choose. Mike should say What should we take with us.
    What do you think of my ideas?

    Thanks.
    Last edited by touchstone; 03-Nov-2016 at 09:25.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: an unnatural dialogue

    Quote Originally Posted by touchstone View Post
    (Two boys are on the phone)
    Jack: Hello, is Mike in?
    Mike: Speaking.

    Jack: Hi Mike, it's Jack. The school sports meet is coming on tomorrow. Let
    s go together.
    Mike: OK. What shall should we take?

    Jack: We
    ll should take our sports clothes and sports shoes.
    (from an English textbook in China)

    I don
    t think this dialogue is natural.
    1.
    Usually, the person who answers a phone call speaks first. But this one does follow the routine.

    That initial "hello" might have been omitted/assumed.


    Quote Originally Posted by touchstone View Post
    2. Jack invites Mike to go to school together tomorrow. I think he should say Lets go to school together tomorrow.

    No, that's not necessary.

    Quote Originally Posted by touchstone View Post
    People usually say Lets go together when they start to do something.
    3. What shall we take? is ambiguous. People will misunderstand it as what sports shall we choose?

    No.

    Quote Originally Posted by touchstone View Post
    Mike should say, '
    Quote Originally Posted by touchstone View Post
    What should we take with us?'
    That's possible.

  3. Member
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    #3

    Re: an unnatural dialogue

    Thank you very much, teechar.
    The following is the second half of the dialogue. Would you please have a look?


    Mike: Shall I take my camera?

    Jack: Good idea! It
    ll be fun.
    Mike: When shall we meet?
    Jack: Let
    s make it half past six.
    Mike: Where shall we meet?
    Jack: At my house.
    Mike: OK.See you then.
    Jack: See you.


    My corrections:

    1.
    Shall I take my camera? Shall should be Should.
    2.Good idea! Itll be fun. It should be That.
    3. When shall we meet? Shall should be will or should.
    4. Let
    s make it half past six. An at should be put before half past six.
    5. Where shall we meet? Shall should be will or should.
    6.
    At my house. should be What about my house?
    7. OK. See you then.
    then should be there.

    What do you say?

    Thanks a lot.
    Last edited by touchstone; 04-Nov-2016 at 01:06.

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: an unnatural dialogue

    Quote Originally Posted by touchstone View Post
    Thank you very much, teechar.
    The following is the second half of the dialogue. Would you please have a look?


    Mike: Shall I take my camera?

    Jack: Good idea! It
    ll be fun.
    Mike: When shall we meet?
    Jack: Let
    s make it half past six.
    Mike: Where shall we meet?
    Jack: At my house.
    Mike: OK.See you then.
    Jack: See you.


    My corrections:

    1.
    Shall I take my camera? Shall should be Should.
    Not necessarily.
    2.Good idea! Itll be fun. It should be That.
    Not necessarily.
    3. When shall we meet? Shall should be will or should.
    Not necessarily.
    4. Let
    s make it half past six. An at should be put before half past six.
    No, it's better as it is.
    5. Where shall we meet? Shall should be will or should.
    Not necessarily.

    6.
    At my house. should be What about my house?
    No, the original is better.
    7. OK. See you then.
    then should be there.
    Not necessarily.

    Note that "shall" is more a feature of BrE.

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    #5

    Re: an unnatural dialogue

    Mike: OK. What shall should we take?
    Jack: We
    ll should take our sports clothes and sports shoes. (in post #2)

    Dear teechar, I wonder if these two corrections are necessary.
    Thanks a lot.

  6. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: an unnatural dialogue

    What should we take? = What do we need to take?
    What shall we take? = What are we going to take?

    The first makes much more sense because they are going to discuss what they are going to need to take with them. They don't already know.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  7. Member
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    #7

    Re: an unnatural dialogue

    Jack: Hi Mike, it's Jack. The school sports meet is coming on tomorrow. Lets go together.

    In #2, I wonder why 'coming' is changed to 'on'.

    Thanks a lot in advance.

  8. teechar's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: an unnatural dialogue

    Quote Originally Posted by touchstone View Post
    meet is coming on tomorrow
    That doesn't work in English.

    The delivery van is coming tomorrow.
    The party/meeting/concert is on tomorrow.
    Last edited by teechar; 29-Mar-2017 at 22:41.

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    #9

    Re: an unnatural dialogue

    Thanks, teechar.
    I read Christmas is coming. I wonder if the reason is that Christmas is a holiday, so people can say that.
    Thanks again.

  10. teechar's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: an unnatural dialogue

    Quote Originally Posted by touchstone View Post
    I read Christmas is coming.
    In the above, "is coming" means "is approaching".
    Note that I have edited post #8 to include "meet" in your quote. It is possible to say "is coming on tomorrow" in some contexts. For example,
    The new series of Mr Bean is coming on tomorrow.
    However, that is to be read as:
    The new series of Mr Bean [is coming on] tomorrow.
    not as:
    The new series of Mr Bean [is coming] on tomorrow.
    In the above, "come on" is a phrasal verb meaning to appear on TV.

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