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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Question I want to sharpen my writing skills

    Hello. I am preparing for a writing exam, so I started to write some random essays to improve my writing.
    Below is the one of my essays. I would love to know if there are any grammar mistakes.

    I felt depressed, but it was not the result of my sentimentality. Actually, it was one kind of psychological disorder. When feeling distress, most people can deal with it in an appropriate way. However, people who suffer from depression can't. Patients with minor symptoms may be willing to talk to others, but those who have serious depression symptoms would rather leave their heart polluted than seek an approach to tackle it. Overwhelmed by frustration, they would love to hurt their bodies and try to commit suicide to rest in peach for good. I am glad that I had gone through the whole process and survived it.
    At the tender age of twelve, my parents got divorced. Divorced per-se was just the last straw, their long-term argument was the major factor that contributed to my depression. Initially, I only realized I had been prone to feel exhausted with no reason, but before long I came to wonder why my tears would well spontaneously. I tell myself it didn't work, so I went to see a shrink. I didn't think he would take me seriously in the first place. To my surprise, he listened to each of my words with concentration. I was diagnosed as minor depression and took a pack of medicine. The medicine worked wonders. I regained my sensible mind within a period of treatments. Now I have recovered, but many of my fellows haven't. They haven't been treated well and in the end have drowned in their agonies.

    (Thanks to spelling check, I didn't know how poor my spelling is until now.)

    Edit:By the way, can I continue posting other articles in this thread or should I post in a new thread? Is there a quota?
    Last edited by s4196; 03-Nov-2016 at 14:42. Reason: additional question

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: I want to sharpen my writing skills

    Quote Originally Posted by s4196 View Post
    Hello. I am preparing for a writing exam, so I started to write some random essays to improve my writing.
    Below is the one of my essays. I would love to know if there are any grammar mistakes.

    I felt depressed, but it was not the result of my sentimentality. Actually, it was one kind of psychological disorder. When feeling distress, most people can deal with it in an appropriate way. However, people who suffer from depression can't. Patients with minor symptoms may be willing to talk to others, but many of those who have serious depression symptoms would rather leave their heart polluted suffer silently than seek an approach professional help to deal with their illness. tackle it. Overwhelmed by frustration, they would love to hurt their bodies often turn to self-harm and may even try to commit suicide to rest in peach peace for good. I am glad that I had gone through the whole process and survived it.

    At the tender age of twelve, I endured the trauma of my parents got getting divorced. Divorce per se was just the last straw, but their long-term argument acrimony was the major factor that contributed to my depression. Initially, I only realized became aware I had been prone to feeling exhausted with for no apparent reason, but before long, I came to wonder why my tears would well up spontaneously. I tell convinced myself that I needed help, it didn't work, so I went to see a psychiatrist. shrink. I didn't think he would take me seriously in the at first, place. but to my surprise, he listened to all of what I had to say each of my words with genuine interest. concentration. I was diagnosed as with minor depression and took a pack of prescribed some medicine. The medicine worked wonders. I regained my sensible mind within a period of emotional stability after the treatment. Now I have am recovered, but many of my fellow sufferers haven't. They haven't been treated well had the necessary treatment, and in the end as a result, they still feel depressed. have drowned in their agonies.
    Hello s4196, and welcome to our forum.
    I found that piece of writing very moving!

    Quote Originally Posted by s4196 View Post
    By the way, can I continue posting other articles in this thread or should I post in a new thread? Is there a quota?
    If the topic is different, then start new threads. No, there is no quota.

  3. Newbie
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    #3

    Re: I want to sharpen my writing skills

    Thank you! I really appreciate your help. It looks much better now.

    "as a result, they still feel depressed. (have drowned in their agonies.)"
    Well, I was kind of trying to push language…I guess? I wonder if it didn't make sense.

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