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  1. Key Member
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    #1

    Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom.

    Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom at their wedding. It's impolite to native speakers of English.

    The above sentences are quoted from a Taiwanese teacher of English. Do native speakers of English agree with the above quotation?
    Last edited by sitifan; 07-Nov-2016 at 08:28.
    I need native speakers' help.

  2. Piscean's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom.

    Many etiquette guides will tell you that it is not correct to congratulate the bride. It is acceptable to congratulate the groom.
    Last edited by Piscean; 06-Nov-2016 at 09:25. Reason: Link fixed

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom.

    Piscean's post was news to me. I would congratulate both the bride and the groom. There is something unsettling, for me, about only congratulating the groom - I can't quite put my finger on it but it's almost as if you are saying that the marriage is only a good result for one half of the partnership.

    I wonder what the etiquette is when talking to the two parties involved in a same-sex marriage.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. VIP Member
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    #4

    Re: Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    There is something unsettling, for me, about only congratulating the groom - I can't quite put my finger on it but it's almost as if you are saying that the marriage is only a good result for one half of the partnership.
    The reasoning was that congratulating the bride somehow suggested she had finally snagged a husband, possibly in spite of being insufficiently attractive. This is clearly a kind of thinking which has long been obsolete and unlamented, except perhaps by certain candidates for the presidency of an obscure North American country.
    I am not a teacher.

  5. Skrej's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom.

    Uncalled for political commentary aside, I would agree that today it's the norm to congratulate both the bride and groom. Not only do members of the general audience congratulate the couple, congratulations are frequently given to both in the speeches at the reception and rehearsal dinners.
    Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!

  6. Key Member
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    #6

    Re: Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Skrej View Post
    Uncalled for political commentary aside, I would agree that today it's the norm to congratulate both the bride and groom. Not only do members of the general audience congratulate the couple, congratulations are frequently given to both in the speeches at the reception and rehearsal dinners.
    What does the phrase uncalled for political commentary aside mean?
    I need native speakers' help.

  7. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom.

    It means that Skrej is choosing to ignore the previous comment on the current presidential candidate, on the basis that it has no (useful, grammatical) bearing on this thread.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  8. konungursvia's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom.

    It means, despite the unnecessary comments about politics and/or the politically correct.

  9. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    #9

    Re: Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom.

    Some congratulate the groom and offer best wishes to the bride, but I doubt that many care about such distinctions nowadays.

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    #10

    Re: Don't say 'Congratulations!' to a bride or groom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    Some congratulate the groom and offer best wishes to the bride, but I doubt that many care about such distinctions nowadays.
    Exactly what I was taught. You wish the bride well, a happy future, etc.

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