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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Post I'm quite unfamiliar with first person writing.

    Ok so I'm planning to write a story for a game, nothing big. It's still in trial stage. I'm going to write it in a novel structure first to pass on to my artist so he could get a feel on what artwork he might want to create for my game. I want the narrative to be first person, but I just stumbled upon this dilemma.

    So I wrote:
    "Good evening, Detective. Your brother is waiting for you inside, but you oughta speak with the chief first.". I replied, "Thanks officer, you're doing a good job.". He chuckled, "Just another night, eh, Detective?". "I suppose so", I replied in a hesitant manner.

    I want to write it like this:
    "Good evening, Detective. Your brother is waiting for you inside, but you oughta speak with the chief first.". I replied, "Thanks officer, you're doing a good job.". "Just another night, eh, Detective?". "I suppose so".


    I just want to know your opinion in breaking a character's dialogue without written cue. Thank you.

  2. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    #2

    Re: I'm quite unfamiliar with first person writing.

    The longer the conversation the harder it will get to follow who's saying what.

  3. Newbie
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    #3

    Re: I'm quite unfamiliar with first person writing.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    The longer the conversation the harder it will get to follow who's saying what.
    Do you think it's okay if I write it in moderation?

    I want my narrator to sound like he's an experienced veteran and I feel like a break after every dialogue won't give the reader that 'grizzled/experienced veteran' feel towards the narrator.

  4. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    #4

    Re: I'm quite unfamiliar with first person writing.

    Why don't you write it as a script, which is how they will use it?

  5. Newbie
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    #5

    Re: I'm quite unfamiliar with first person writing.

    Well, I have 3 options. My artist is 50/50 on this because we are both new to the game development, and if he ever tries to back out on this I might just publish my ideas as, IDK maybe a free ebook. Or maybe sell my story to some game devs I know(I need to appeal to them, you know what I mean).

    And also I don't 'read' a lot of first person narrated storied. It would be nice to learn how to write a good first person narrated story.

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