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  1. Newbie
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      • India
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    #1

    editing of a letter

    Dear Sir
    Please edit the following letter

    JAYPEE VIDYA MANDIR, TOMRI has been serving the society for last 5 years. Inspite of locating in such a remote area, the school is has been offering a lot of modern facilities which are demanded in the modern world. The students are focussed to develop the life skills to become a responsible citizen for tomorrow as today's education is based on all-round development of a child.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
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    #2

    Re: editing of a letter

    Quote Originally Posted by khansir View Post
    Dear Sir Hello.
    Please edit the following letter.

    JAYPEE VIDYA MANDIR, TOMRI has been serving the society for the last 5 years. Inspite Despite of locatingbeing located in such a remote area, the school is has been offering offers a lot of modern facilities which are demanded in the modern world. The students are focussed focused to developon developing the life skills necessary to become a responsible citizen for tomorrow, as today's education is based on the all-round development of a child.
    Note my corrections above. I don't know if the first four words are someone's name or the name of a school. Is it the "Jaypee Vidya Mandir" school in "Tomri"?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: editing of a letter

    I would delete "the" from "the society".

  4. Moderator
    Retired English Teacher
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    #4

    Re: editing of a letter

    Welcome to the forum, Joe.

    Please note my comment above. ESL students always presume that native speakers use correct grammar at all times.

    Please read the following extract from the Forum Guidelines:

    You are welcome to answer questions posted in the Ask a Teacher and Editing & Writing Topics forums as long as your suggestions, help, and advice reflect a good understanding of the English language. If you are not a teacher, you will need to state that clearly in your post. Please note, all posts are moderated by our in-house language experts, so make sure your suggestions, help, and advice provide the kind of information an international language teacher would offer. If not, and your posts do not contribute to the topic in a positive way, they will be subject to deletion.

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