Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Nov 2016
    • Posts: 3
    #1

    Please help me edit my application!

    .
    Last edited by Anson12; 01-Dec-2016 at 02:06.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 46,960
    #2

    Re: Please help me edit my application!

    Welcome to the forum.

    What are you applying for?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Nov 2016
    • Posts: 3
    #3

    Re: Please help me edit my application!

    This is for a university application

  4. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 7,560
    #4

    Re: Please help me edit my application!

    Quote Originally Posted by Anson12 View Post


    Outside of school, I am passionate about helping others. I dedicate my time as a first-aid ski-patrol volunteer at my local mountain resort. This has not only taught brought me the satisfaction from helping others, but it has also taught me about the importance of responsibility. Whenever I am called to attend an incident, the hours of training kicks in and I feel am under pressure obligation to perform the correct protocols and techniques for do my best to help the injured person. patient. I endeavour to always follow the correct procedures and protocols in carrying out my duty. I am feel responsible for all my actions and their potential consequences, which occasionally leaves me feeling an abnormal amount of under considerable stress. I have learned to overcome this by regularly reviewing my first-aid protocols and speaking to asking the more experienced patrollers for their advice. The intensive and dangerous nature of this job has taught me to perform under pressure and being responsible for my actions, from admitting my own mistakes to being be reliable and dependable. Nonetheless, My ultimate goal is to provide guests with a safe and enjoyable environment and witness ing their satisfaction. gratitude from the guests after I help them, That always provides me with a great sense of fulfillment.
    .

  5. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Nov 2016
    • Posts: 3
    #5

    Re: Please help me edit my application!

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    .
    Thank you so much for taking your time and helping me. I have edited the first one again and added a second paragraph. Would you please look over both of them once again and tell me any changes I should make?

  6. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 46,960
    #6

    Re: Please help me edit my application!

    Please don't edit posts after you've received responses. It makes a nonsense of some replies. If you want to incorporate suggested changes, you need to rewrite the text in a new response.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

Similar Threads

  1. Can someone please edit my letter of motivation for a phd application ??
    By staphy89 in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 10-Jul-2013, 23:11
  2. Replies: 0
    Last Post: 29-Jun-2013, 17:20
  3. Help me edit my Application form
    By esophea in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 02-Apr-2010, 03:13
  4. Will someone edit and revise my application essay for college?
    By fatpanda in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 27-Oct-2009, 20:16
  5. Can I get an edit for my USC application essays?
    By DaAzNJRiCh in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 08-Jan-2007, 03:23

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •