Page 1 of 2 1 2 Last
Results 1 to 10 of 12
  1. Nikitus's Avatar
    Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Chile
      • Current Location:
      • Chile

    • Join Date: Oct 2013
    • Posts: 459
    #1

    The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

    Hello.

    Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

    "The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day, because it was hot anyway. In the interior of a supermarket, Kevin and Jennifer were walking in the meat section in the evening. Jennifer tried to get closer and win the trust of Kevin, to help him, and told the truth to him as a friend."

    Thanks.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 44,867
    #2

    Re: The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

    The sun had almost completely disappeared, giving way to a cloudy, but warm, evening. In the supermarket, Kevin and Jennifer were browsing the meat aisle. Jennifer approached Kevin, trying to win his trust by telling him the truth.

    My suggestion above is the best I can do with what you wrote. I'm not really sure if I've got the gist of it though. Without knowing the context, I have no idea what the "truth" is.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Nikitus's Avatar
    Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Chile
      • Current Location:
      • Chile

    • Join Date: Oct 2013
    • Posts: 459
    #3

    Re: The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

    Dear emsr2d2:

    First of all, thanks again for all your help.

    I am trying to write the following:

    -Jennifer did not know well Kevin. She is trying to win his trust.
    -After she win the trust of Kevin, she will tell him the truth about a deception that Kevin is suffering (and Kevin is not aware of it.)

    Thanks!

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 44,867
    #4

    Re: The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

    If they don't know each other well, why are they supermarket shopping together?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,955
    #5

    Re: The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

    Jennifer does not know Kevin well, but she knows a lot about him. In fact, she knows things about him he doesn't know.

    Jennifer is trying to win Kevin's trust. Why? So she can tell him something about himself that he doesn't know.

    I think Jennifer wants to ask Kevin for money.

  6. Nikitus's Avatar
    Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Chile
      • Current Location:
      • Chile

    • Join Date: Oct 2013
    • Posts: 459
    #6

    Re: The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

    Kevin is a easy going person, and Jennifer is a nice girl. They are buying together, but they are not best friends. Jennifer wants to win the trust of Kevin to tell him that one of his friends his inventing a a deception.

    Thanks.

  7. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 44,867
    #7

    Re: The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

    We don't say "inventing a deception". Do you mean that Jennifer knows that one of Kevin's friends is lying to him about something?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • American English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 11,955
    #8

    Re: The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

    They are shopping together. (Not "buying together".)

    Jennifer: I know something that I think I should tell you.
    Kevin: OK. Tell me.

    Jennifer should just tell him. (The way to win somebody's trust is to tell the truth.)

  9. Newbie
    Other
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Australia
      • Current Location:
      • Croatia

    • Join Date: Nov 2016
    • Posts: 26
    #9

    Re: The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

    Quote Originally Posted by Nikitus View Post
    Hello.

    Are the following sentences grammatically correct?

    "The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day, because it was hot anyway. In the interior of a supermarket, Kevin and Jennifer were walking in the meat section in the evening. Jennifer tried to get closer and win the trust of Kevin, to help him, and told the truth to him as a friend."

    Thanks.
    The only thing I can see that's possibly grammatically incorrect is "tell" instead of "told", unless I'm not getting it? Although the rest seems fine grammatically, the sentences are clunky and not very fluently read. Using the info you've given, I'd write it something like this;
    The sun was setting to end another hot day. Inside a supermarket, Kevin and Jennifer were walking along by the meat section. She found herself with him again, working on trying to obtain Kevin's trust. Jennifer wanted to help him, to tell him a truth he needed to know, something she couldn't felt she couldn't do yet.

    [Not a teacher]
    Last edited by teechar; 19-Nov-2016 at 13:57.

  10. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 7,310
    #10

    Re: The sun had almost gone completely to give way to a cloudy but not cold day

    Quote Originally Posted by Tony Phillips View Post
    something she couldn't felt she couldn't do yet.
    .

Page 1 of 2 1 2 Last

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 21-May-2012, 12:35
  2. [Idiom] 'give the time of day' / 'give the light of day'
    By Olympian in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 22-Mar-2012, 18:42
  3. [General] [time expression] Sun in two weeks?, next Sun? this Sun?
    By kazamn in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 08-Jun-2010, 04:23
  4. [Grammar] The weather is cloudy today.
    By h_roark in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 19-May-2009, 17:36
  5. [General] cold chisel, cold metal, cold steel, cold iron
    By vil in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 22-Sep-2008, 11:47

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •