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  1. hai_lua_t2's Avatar
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    #1

    The evening programs on a local television station are uninteresting

    Hello All,

    I am trying to practice improve writing skills by myself. The below is my essay, please give your opinion. Any idea, correction for vocabulary, grammar, structure is really appreciated. I think I still repeat the word quite much and the words are not really academic.
    Thank you!


    Dear Sir or Madam,

    I am writing this letter to give my opinion about the evening programs. Honestly, I have a feeling that these programs are not really interesting. Why I say this, because they are giving the less useful information for people who are being in school as me even though it is boring in some cases. I hardly find the new knowledge or advice so far. Instead of broadcasting them, I think it is better if we are able to replace by the new programs which are focus on education or sport. The viewers may be interested in in your channel, they can find a lot more good information. It is a wonderful channel if people can discover new things on the show every evening. These such programs are also attractive the parents who think their children will get many lessons or experiences base on the educational contents. Along with education we can create channels for those who love sport. If you allow live games such as football or baseball, etc. Customers are willing to pay money to subscribe for your channels. It help your station become more well-known and powerful, the business has an opportunity to develop.

    That is all about my point of view. I hope I can get your feedback soon.

    Sincerely,
    Last edited by emsr2d2; 26-Nov-2016 at 21:48. Reason: Sorted out formatting so text goes all the way across the text box

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: The evening programs on a local television station are uninteresting

    Say:

    I am trying to improve my writing. Below is my essay. Please give me your opinions. I would appreciate it if you correct any mistakes.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: The evening programs on a local television station are uninteresting

    First sentence. Say:

    ...evening programs on your channel.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: The evening programs on a local television station are uninteresting

    Third sentence. Say:

    Why do I say this? Because the information is not very useful, and the material is presented in a way that is boring.
    Last edited by Tarheel; 27-Nov-2016 at 04:52. Reason: Change something.

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: The evening programs on a local television station are uninteresting

    Next sentence. Say:

    The "new" knowledge is hardly anything new.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: The evening programs on a local television station are uninteresting

    Next sentence. Say:

    I think the current programs should be replaced by programs that focus on education or sports.

  7. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: The evening programs on a local television station are uninteresting

    The last two sentences are unnecessary.

  8. hai_lua_t2's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: The evening programs on a local television station are uninteresting

    I'm still thinking how to use more words which are related to television. The essay would look professional.

  9. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #9

    Re: The evening programs on a local television station are uninteresting

    Say:

    If you air live programming such as football and baseball people would be willing to pay money to subscribe to your channel.

  10. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: The evening programs on a local television station are uninteresting

    Some of the sentences are ungrammatical and don't make sense. (For example, they lack sense.)

    If you want your essay to look professional your sentences have to make sense.

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