[Application] Could you please have a look at my motivation letter

[Invarianta]

Hello to everybody!
Could you please have a look at my motivation letter to consulate for getting the student's visa and say if it is logical and reasoned enough? If you were consul which questions would you ask me?
I would really appreciate any advice! All the best to you guys!

Motivation letter

Dear Sir or Madam,

I am writing this motivation letter to apply for a visa to become a student of the Master’s program “Computer Science” at the University of Passau.
I have been passionate about computers since I was 15 years old when my father bought for me my first home computer and I started to investigate it with great interest.
IT was my favorite discipline at school and I chose it as one of my elective subjects. After I finished school I went for the Bachelor program of “Computer Science and Computer Engineering” at Ustinov Baltic State Technical University “Voenmeh” in Saint-Petersburg, Russia, which I finished with honors in 2005. At that time I got interested in another field of study namely automatic control systems. So I decided to broaden my knowledge by doing a master's degree in “Automation and Control” at the same university and I completed it with honors in 2007.
After obtaining my master's degree I still wanted to get more experienced in “Computer Science”. So I took up a job of a software developer for the instrument engineering company JSC “Ravenstvo” where I worked for a year. In that position I developed software for gamma therapy units.
Later on I moved to the field of automatic control systems for unmanned aerial vehicles as an engineer at JSC “Concern Granit-Electron” where I have been working for the last 8 years. Though the work there requires extensive knowledge and skills related to “Automation and Control” but it is barely connected with “Computer Science”. After years of working for that company it turned out that there are no career opportunities for me in that company. Besides, in the vast majority of cases the vacancies are limited to the sphere of defense.
As I am tired of working for war and want to be engaged in a civilian sphere to grow professionally, I decided to go back to software development. After looking for a job I realized that my basic knowledge and skills in that area are neither sufficient nor up-to-date anymore because the sphere of Computer Science is changing very fast together with new emerging technologies. So I decided to obtain a masters degree in “Computer Science”.
At the same time I got disappointed with Russian educational system. Although it is quite fundamental and broad, it falls behind cutting-edge technologies and provides compulsory humanity courses even for masters programs in “Computer Science”. So higher education in Russia is far from being well organized and is very corrupted. That is why I decided to obtain that degree abroad in Germany which is well known for its high quality of education and where education is more practically oriented and includes modern technologies.
I selected the master’s program of “Computer Science” at the University of Passau as it has top place in the CHE ranking for Computer Science master's programmes 2015-16 and a broad international and relevant selection of modules. Futhermore, as a student, I will work on cutting-edge research projects and Passau is a perfect place for study as it is small and quiet and does not have a lot of distractions.
After completing that degree I am planning to apply for a position of a software developer in a big international company which we have a lot in Saint-Petersburg. I believe that the master’s program of “Computer Science” at the University of Passau will give me a good chance to realize my plans. It offers a great opportunity to deepen my knowledge in the field of computer science, update it and get experienced in working with an international team, as well as to improve my language skills.

Thank you very much for considering my visa application and I look forward to your positive response.

Yours faithfully,

 

[emsr2d2]

I'm a little confused. You write a motivation letter to go with a university application in order (hopefully) to be offered a place on a course. Once you've got the formal offer, you can apply for a visa. This sort of letter would be wholly inappropriate for a visa application, which is normally submitted on an official application form and accompanied by evidence of the formal offer of a place on the course.

So the motivation letter would go to the University of Passau and the visa application, in your case, would be made to the German Consulate General in St Petersburg (or, if they don't have a visa section, to the German Embassy in Moscow).

 

[Invarianta]

Hello emsr2d2! Thank you a lot for answering! The thing is that the consulate needs the motivation letter which explains my reasons for studying in Germany as well as the University, I phoned to the consulate to figure it out. I guess the letter for the consulate should have a bit different focus - it should prove that studying is my true and only goal and I am going to be back to my home country. And the fun thing here - the University of Passau even do not demand motivation letter at all and before I started to check information about visa application I was sure that I won't need to write it All the best!

 

[Tony Phillips]

Never mind.