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  1. xiaoen's Avatar
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    #1

    My heart beats increase/rise

    Hi,
    Suppose that I am an old person (80 years old). My grand children ask me to walk with them at the park but because of my health problems that I have in my heart I can't walk more than 5 minutes because when I walk more than 5 minutes my heart beats increase. In this context, I want to say this sentence:

    Me: Sorry I can't walk any more.
    My grand son: Why?
    Me: My heart beats increase/rise when I walk more than 5 minutes.

    How should I say the blue part? Is it natural to you?

  2. Moderator
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    #2

    Re: My heart beats increase/rise

    Your grandchildren could be 40 years old, so will know all about heart-rate.

    Talking to little children, I'd say 'It's not good for my heart. It starts to beat too fast'.

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: My heart beats increase/rise

    Note that we don't put a space after "grand" in "grandson", "granddaughter", "grandchildren", "grandmother" and "grandfather".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. VIP Member
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    #4

    Re: My heart beats increase/rise

    Heart beats can't increase or rise. Your heart rate can, but I wouldn't tell a child "my heart rate rises too high." It's too technical.
    I am not a teacher.

  5. Charlie Bernstein's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: My heart beats increase/rise

    Quote Originally Posted by xiaoen View Post
    Hi,
    Suppose that I am an old person (80 years old). My grandchildren ask me to walk with them in the park, but because of [delete my] health problems that I have with my heart, I can't walk more than five minutes. [too many becauses] When I walk more than five minutes my heart beats increase. In this context, I want to say this sentence:

    Me: Sorry, I can't walk any more.
    My grandson: Why?
    Me: My heart beats too fast when I walk more than five minutes.

    How should I say the blue part? Is it natural to you?
    It would be natural to either say that it beats too fast or too hard.

    In other parts of the text it would also be more natural to say:

    - Suppose I'm an old person. OR Suppose I'm eighty years old. [This is better than saying both. Use one or the other. It's less redundant.]

    - because of heart problems [This is clearer.]
    Last edited by Charlie Bernstein; 04-Dec-2016 at 17:48.
    I'm not a teacher. I speak American English. I've tutored writing at the University of Southern Maine and have done a good deal of copy editing and writing, occasionally for publication.

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