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  1. Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Hong Kong
      • Current Location:
      • Hong Kong

    • Join Date: Jan 2014
    • Posts: 129
    #1

    Are the emails formal?

    I need to send emails to my clients, but I am afraid that they are poorly written. Can anyone please have a look of them and give comments? Thank you!

    First email
    Further to the tele-conversation between your goodself and our Ms. Cheung, please find the attached statement of account and corresponding cheque for your kind reference. Please bring the company chop for signing upon the receipt of deposit. Thank you.

    Second email
    We know that your company provides quality food for catering industry, and we would like to order ingredients for making desserts and pancakes from your company, can you please kindly mail us the product list or catalogue (English version) for our further reference? Thank you.

  2. Key Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,728
    #2

    Re: Are the emails formal?

    1. We refer to the telephone conversation between yourself and Ms Cheung and attach here the Statement of Account and a cheque for ??(what purpose?)
    Please bring your company stamp when you come to sign ...... (sign what document? What do you mean by "receipt of deposit"?)

    2. We would like to order ingredients for making desserts and pancakes. Please send us your product catalogues in English. Thank you.
    I am not a teacher.

  3. Member
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Hong Kong
      • Current Location:
      • Hong Kong

    • Join Date: Jan 2014
    • Posts: 129
    #3

    Re: Are the emails formal?

    ..........sign the receipt upon receiving the deposit (cheque)

  4. Key Member
    Interested in Language
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • Malaysia
      • Current Location:
      • Malaysia

    • Join Date: Apr 2014
    • Posts: 3,728
    #4

    Re: Are the emails formal?

    1. We refer to the telephone conversation between yourself and Ms Cheung and attach here the Statement of Account. The cheque for payment has been prepared. Please bring your company stamp to acknowledge receipt when you come to collect the cheque.
    It is not possible to attached the cheque with your email, is it?


    2. We would like to order ingredients for making desserts and pancakes. Please send us your product catalogues in English. Thank you.
    I am not a teacher.

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