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  1. Member
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    #1

    Steven Gerrard foot on the brink of cut off

    Hello,

    I think one of the best ways to improve our writing skill is to translate something from our mother tongue into English. I really want to do that every week. It is not necessary to translate whole a text, we can do it by rendering small fragments.

    Here is my first translation that I translated it from Persian into English. It was a long news or better to say a long story, however, I rendered some paragraphs of it into English.

    Hopefully you read through my translation and show me my mistakes.

    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

    Steven Gerrard foot on the brink of cut off

    On October 5, 1999 Steven Gerrard scored his first goal for Liverpool.

    Much has been said about the halcyon days of Steven Gerrard, but a story that has been rarely mentioned is regarding a bitter moment of his life when his foot was nearly to be cut off. If this catastrophe had happened, he never could have shone for Liverpool. Gerard has explained entirely the ominous incident in his autobiography.

    The fate of a child in the hands of surgeons

    During my school, I experienced a force towards the success, and it was close to lose my professional career in a blink of eye. All of my dreams to become a champion in Liverpool and the England national football team and to lift the European cups and to shine in the World cups was in the hands of surgeons. When the incident happened to me and got me to the hospital I was only 9 and it was a year that alongside Michael Owen in the training centers of Vernon Sangster we trained. I was extremely worried about my sporting future. Even today I tremble, when I remember the incident occurred to me on the grass field nearby our house.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Steven Gerrard foot on the brink of cut off

    Say:

    a whole text

    (Put a period after "text" and start a new sentence.)

    And:

    Here is my first translation from Persian to English.

    And:

    Please read through my translation and show me my mistakes.

    OK.


  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    The Day Steven Gerrard Almost Lost His Foot

    Perhaps:

    Much has been said about the halcyon days of Steven Gerrard, but something that is rarely mentioned is the day he nearly lost his foot to amputation.

  4. Editor, UsingEnglish.com
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    #4

    Re: Steven Gerrard foot on the brink of cut off

    I would change the title- the meaning is a bit forced. Something simpler might work better IMO.

  5. Member
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    #5

    Re: Steven Gerrard foot on the brink of cut off

    Quote Originally Posted by Tdol View Post
    I would change the title- the meaning is a bit forced. Something simpler might work better IMO.
    I would appreciate if you would suggest your desired headline.

    Have I got many grammatical mistakes?

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Steven Gerrard foot on the brink of cut off

    Perhaps:

    If that (amputation) had happened to him he never could have starred for Liverpool. Gerrard tells the story in his autobiography.


  7. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Steven Gerrard foot on the brink of cut off

    Two things.

    1. What makes more sense -- that all the errors are in the first paragraph or two or that they are more or less evenly distributed?

    2. If I only posted to one thread at a time it would be easier to remember that thread, but that is rarely the case. Three things that help me remember a thread: posting on a thread, likes, and a catchy title.

    Bedtime!

  8. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #8

    The Day Gerrard Almost Lost His Foot

    What do you think?

  9. Member
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    #9

    Re: Steven Gerrard foot on the brink of cut off

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Two things.

    1. What makes more sense -- that all the errors are in the first paragraph or two or that they are more or less evenly distributed?

    2. If I only posted to one thread at a time it would be easier to remember that thread, but that is rarely the case. Three things that help me remember a thread: posting on a thread, likes, and a catchy title.

    Bedtime!
    To answer number one question, I can say that honestly I could not understand what you meant.

    But I have realized before that when I like your post you will visit my thread again and start suggesting your preferred sentences. However, you do not correct and highlight my mistakes. I really don't know which parts of my translation is ungrammatical.

    Totally, thank you man ♥

  10. Member
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    #10

    Re: The Day Gerrard Almost Lost His Foot

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    What do you think?
    It seems better. The problem is even if I can make grammatical sentences they are not natural in English. It is not my fault, the way of thinking between us is different. My first language is Persian and yours is English, so I can never make natural sentences in English. I just memorise the words and grammar rules of your language but I have no feeling towards them.

    The Day Gerard Almost Lost His Foot seems splendid.

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