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  1. Key Member
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      • Native Language:
      • Bosnian
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      • Bosnia Herzegovina
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      • Sweden

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    #1

    I had not followed the news

    This sentence is from my text I am currently writing. I am not sure if it sounds natural. Would you please take a look at it and correct my mistakes?

    I had not followed the news from Bosnia since I came to Sweden, but I knew that in the last few days nothing could have changed, and killings and crimes were being committed with undiminished ferocity.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: I had not followed the news

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    This sentence is from my a text I am currently writing. I am not sure if it sounds natural. Would you please take a look at it and correct my mistakes?
    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    but I knew that in the last few days
    That part seems ambiguous. Can you explain what you mean by it please?

  3. Key Member
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    #3

    Re: I had not followed the news

    teechar,

    Thank you for helping me.

    I wanted to say that in the days since I had arrived in Sweden I believed that nothing could have changed significantly in my homeland. My problem is how to express that meaning correctly.

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: I had not followed the news

    I still don't get it. Do you perhaps mean "and in the last few days" instead?
    I don't see the significance of "the last few days."

  5. Key Member
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    #5

    Re: I had not followed the news

    Could I rephrase my sentence like this:

    I had not followed the news from Bosnia since I came to Sweden, but I believed nothing could have changed significantly in the meantime; the killings and crimes were being committed with undiminished ferocity.

  6. Barb_D's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: I had not followed the news

    There may be some tense issues. If we find out in the next sentence or two that there, in fact, had been a major shift in the fighting, it might not read quite right.

    I had not followed the news from Bosnia in the few days since I'd arrived in Sweden, but I had no reason to believe anything had changed and the killing and crimes were still occurring with undiminished ferocity.
    I'm not a teacher, but I write for a living. Please don't ask me about 2nd conditionals, but I'm a safe bet for what reads well in (American) English.

  7. teechar's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: I had not followed the news

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    I had not followed the news from Bosnia since I came to Sweden, but as/and I believed nothing could have changed significantly in the meantime; the killings murders and other crimes were probably still being committed with the same undiminished ferocity.
    .

  8. teechar's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: I had not followed the news

    Bassim, I'm curious about the period you're referring to. Are you talking about when you first arrived in Sweden or about now?

  9. Key Member
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    #9

    Re: I had not followed the news

    teechar,

    I am talking about the period when I first arrived in Sweden in 1993. I am describing a little town at the seaside where we were sent after spending five days in another refugee centre. This part is about how I am walking on the beautiful beach with the sound of sea, but my mind races with thoughts about the war I have just left behind.

  10. teechar's Avatar
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    #10

    Re: I had not followed the news

    Then go with Barb_D's version in post #6.
    Last edited by teechar; 30-Dec-2016 at 03:31.

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