Cover letter

[Ertanabest]

HI all,
i need someone to correct my cover latter (CL) in grammar or maybe there some missing point. to get this CL properly in order . i am open for any suggestion and opinion about my CL .
thank you




Dear Mr.

Hi, my name is Frederick Taka i am 35 years old Indonesian welder i am looking for a sponsor because i dont have permit yet to work in Canada
. My experience in welding is more than 4 years.
Since January 2016 i am open my own welding shop and manage it together with my friend. Our job is
Make or fabricated a fences,gates,racks and other commercial structure. Before it i worked with
Company named PT.Vorkon as a welder from 2007. Vorkon is man Power Company I had worked with other company (user) Under the Vorkon company.
Our user is Mi SWACO,bukaka,tatamulya,and more.most of the company i had worked
With has main duty in construction buildings, bridges and towers. More information you can find in my resume letter

I have Canadian experienced, as a carrier in local newspaper company in Vancouver.To make my own distribution company is become my goal at that time
but before I can achieve my goal my refugee claimant rejected by the Canadian government I got departure order. So I have to go back home to my country Indonesia
and I have been cooperative with the Canadian government till all process finished. (2010-2014) it is means i am not deported and can go back to Canada
in normal manner.

Canada has more opportunity for the future compared to my country.
That’s the reason I am motivated to go back to Canada. i have applied for a visitor visa and will be available in Vancouver around January and February 2017.

I am continuing working as a welder in Indonesia. 4 years not holding a welding holder does not make me changing track to choose other job. Until now I am still doing it and I am happy with it.

I have interest in a new challenge, and commit myself to do the best; i have ears that always open for any input to make me better in doing my job.
Please review my resume in there I put my link to my welding demo videos and other documents that needed.
(Police record, welding certificate, and more)

Best regards
Frederick Taka

NOTE : if there is welding procedure specification WPS from you i would like to make a video demo of it live by skype or offline anything you preferred.
Wages are negotiable.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

I am open to any suggestions and will listen to any opinions.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

My name is Frederick Tata, and I am a thirtyfive-year-old Indonesian welder.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

I am looking for a sponsor because I don't have a permit yet to work in Canada.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

I have more than four years of experience in welding.

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Since January 2016 I have been operating my own welding shop. I manage it together with my friiend. We fabricate fences, gates, racks, and other commercial structures.

(I am not certain I have used "fabricate" correctly.)

 

[Tarheel]

Say:

Before that I worked as a welder for PT Vorkon from 2007 to 2016.

 

[Tarheel]

I don't understand the rest of that paragraph except for the last sentence. Say:

You can find more information in my resume.

 

[Tarheel]

Oh Canada!

Next paragraph. Say:

I have worked in Canada as a carrier for a newspaper in Vancouver.

Give me some likes!

 

[Tarheel]

Oh Canada!

Say:

Running my own distribution company was my goal at that time.

 

[Tarheel]

Oh Canada!

Say:

My goal at the time was to have my own distribution company, but the Canadian government rejected my claim for asylum before I could achieve that goal. I got a departure order from the Canadian government, and I had to return to my home country, Indonesia. I cooperated with the Canadian government throughout the process (2010-2014). That means I have not been deported, and I can return to Canada in a normal manner.

 

[Tarheel]

Re: Oh Canada!

Please do not crowd too much into one sentence. It can make the sentence hard to read and confusing.

 

[bubbha]

Say:

My name is Frederick Tata, and I am a thirtyfive-year-old Indonesian welder.

I like to write double digits as numbers:

... I am a 35-year-old Indonesian welder.

In any case, "35" should not be written as one word.

 

[Tarheel]

I like to write double digits as numbers:

... I am a 35-year-old Indonesian welder.

In any case, "35" should not be written as one word.

I would normally write that as a number myself.