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    #1

    Please help me proofread and polish this summary.

    Getting rid of dirt, in the opinion of most people, in the opinion of most people, is a good thing. However, there is nothing fixed about attitudes to dirt.
    In the early 16th century, people thought dirt on the skin was a means to block out disease, as medical opinion had it that washing off dirt with hot water could open up the skin and let ills in. A particular danger was thought to lie in public baths. By 1538, the French king had closed the bath houses in his kingdom. So did the king of England in 1546. Thus began a long time when the rich and the poor in Europe lived with dirt in a friendly way. Henry IV, King of France, was famously dirty. Upon learning that a nobleman had taken a bath, the king ordered that, to avoid the attack of disease, the nobleman should not go out.
    Though the belief in the merit of dirt was long-lived, dirt has no longer been regarded as a nice neighbor ever since the 18th century. Scientifically speaking, cleaning away dirt is good to health. Clean water supply and hand washing are practical means of preventing disease. Yet, it seems that standards of cleanliness have moved beyond science since World War II. Advertisements repeatedly sell the idea: clothes need to be whiter than white, cloths ever softer, surfaces to shine. Has the hate for dirt, however, gone too far?
    Attitudes to dirt still differ hugely nowadays. Many first-time parents nervously try to warn their children off touching dirt, which might be responsible for the spread of disease. On the contrary, Mary Ruebush, an American immunologist, encourages children to play in the dirt to build up a strong immune system. And the latter position is gaining some ground.
    The task is: According to the article above, please write a summary within 80 words only using your own words.

    My summary goes as follows:

    People have mixed opinions towards dirt on our skin. For a long time in history, people of some European countries, such as France, believed that dirt protected people from getting ill. However, people began to change their attitudes to dirt about 300 years ago. People have been told that washing dirt off our body can keep us healthy. Recently, some scientists believe that exposure to some dirt may help our immune system.

    Will anyone be kind enough to proofread and polish my summary first and then give your own summary? Many thanks in advance.
    Last edited by rodgers white; 21-Jan-2017 at 07:05.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Please help me proofread and polish this summary.

    Who will you submit this summary to?

  3. Member
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    #3

    Re: Please help me proofread and polish this summary.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Who will you submit this summary to?
    This is a kind of writing practice for my students to summarize a short passage of around 300 words within 80 words. What's more, they are asked to write only with their own words. This post is just my attempt at summarizing and I want some one kind enough to help proofread it. During the winter holidays, I have more time to prepare my lessons in advance in a careful way. Because in my opinion, writing is a time-consuming task and it needs rewriting again and again. However, during the working days, usually there isn't enough time availabe to perfect my summary. As for your question, it is my habit that I always write a possible version if I assign my students to a writing task. It just gives an example for my students to follow. Anyway, let me thank you for your support once again.
    Last edited by rodgers white; 21-Jan-2017 at 10:26.

  4. teechar's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Please help me proofread and polish this summary.

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    This post is just one of them.
    Do you mean this is one student's attempt at summarizing?

  5. Member
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    #5

    Re: Please help me proofread and polish this summary.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Do you mean this is one student's attempt at summarizing?
    Not really. It's just my attempt at summarizing. And it is used as an example for my students to follow, so with the help here, I can prepare my work fully and try to avoid some kind of misleading because of my English proficiency.
    Last edited by rodgers white; 21-Jan-2017 at 10:11.

  6. teechar's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: Please help me proofread and polish this summary.

    Can you please cite the source of the original text?

  7. Member
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    #7

    Re: Please help me proofread and polish this summary.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Can you please cite the source of the original text?
    Ok, it's just a passage for Chinese students' English reading comprehension in a reference book. It often includes about 300 words. First, I try to find what I think is a good material for my students to summarise and then I will write a possible version for my students. After that, it's time to assign the writing task.
    Later, after I have checked my students' summaries, I will present mine to explain how to do summarizing in a vivid way. Finally, they will rewrite and hand in their work again. Of course, I will grade it once more as well.
    Last edited by rodgers white; 21-Jan-2017 at 11:06.

  8. teechar's Avatar
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    #8

    Re: Please help me proofread and polish this summary.

    Okay, but can you please cite that reference book?
    Also, you mentioned that you'd already told your students about this site (Usingenglish.com), so don't you think that some of them might look at your texts before they do their homework?

  9. Member
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    #9

    Re: Please help me proofread and polish this summary.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Okay, but can you please cite that reference book?
    Also, you mentioned that you'd already told your students about this site (Usingenglish.com), so don't you think that some of them might look at your texts before they do their homework?
    It's just a reference book for Chinese students to prepare for their English examinations. It's named in Chinese. I don't know whether my translation is proper or not. The reference book is named " Five years' real exam papers and three years' mock exam papers". As for your second question, most of my students are boarding students and don't have internet access at school or at home. Even they do have a computer connected with the internet, they still can't do that. The reason is simple:I always assign the writing task first, and ask for help here shortly after my students hand in their compositions. What's more, they even don't know my user name and don't have the ability to locate and understand my post. Most importantly, my students are honest and understand that cheating won't get them anywhere. I believe in them.
    Last edited by rodgers white; 21-Jan-2017 at 13:10.

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    Interested in Language
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    #10

    Re: Please help me proofread and polish this summary.

    People have mixed opinions towards dirt on our their skin. For a long time in history, people of in some European countries, such as France, believed that dirt on people's skin protected people them from getting ill. However, people began to change their attitudes to dirt about 300 years ago. People have been were told that washing dirt off our their body can could keep us them healthy. Recently, some scientists believe that exposure to some dirt may help boost our immune system.
    This is a kind of writing practice for my students to summarize a short passage of around 300 words to within 80 words. What's more, they are asked to write only with their own words. This post is just my attempt at summarizing and I want hope someone would be kind enough to help proofread it. During the winter holidays, I have more time to prepare my lessons in advance in a careful way. Because in my opinion, writing is a time-consuming task and it needs rewriting again and again. However, during the working days, usually there isn't enough time available to perfect my summary. As for your question, it is my habit that I always write a possible my own version if I assign my students to a writing task. It just gives serves as an example for my students to follow. Anyway, let me thank you for your support once again.
    .
    Last edited by tedmc; 21-Jan-2017 at 12:40.
    I am not a teacher.

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