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  1. Newbie
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    #1

    Can you check my letter?

    This is a motivational letter for a study abroad program, can you check it? I did my best.
    Thank you in advance

    Dear Sir or Madam,


    My name’s (name), I’m currently studying (faculty) at (my university). I’m extremely glad to have the opportunity of being part of the Erasmus program, thanks to my university and EU. Building an international career is very important for my field of studies since I’m planning to work as a filmaker.
    With this letter I would like to express my interest in studying at (University) which I think is the right choice to fulfill my dreams.


    A “Plural artist”, as we call it at (my university), is what i need to craft for myself and there’s no better way than living different cultures to reach this target. Ironically, in (my country), film studies are not considered as well as others university faculties and that's why they're accessible only through Art Academies. I have chosen to apply for (University) beacuse of its really interesting undergraduate film courses which will surely enrich my future works. Developing an excellent knowledge of cinema story and techniques is what I aim for and outstanding ratings of this university would surely lead to an improvement of my skills.


    I’m also convinced that your programme will benefit a lot from my precence, I work on numerous softwares since I was a child and have a quite large knowledge of cinema language I’m ready to share with other students.
    During the shooting of different shorts I've learned how to work in a team giving the best for every role I covered: Directing, Editing, Light and sound. However thanks to science studies in high school I can reach good performace alone through hard work. I also like to get involved in contest to test my skills and understand what to improve. I’m looking forward to being part of this awesome journey called Erasmus.


    I would love to spend a semester in (city) because this would give me the chance to get in touch with British culture and deepen my knowledge of Art. Moreover I could definitely improve my English and raise the possibilities of passing the TOEFL and IELTS examination when I'll be back.


    Thank you very much for consdering my request.


    Your faithfully,
    (name)
    Last edited by Dagozar; 22-Jan-2017 at 19:27.

  2. Newbie
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    #2

    Re: Can you check my letter?

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    Welcome to the forum.

    First, click on Edit Post and capitalise the word "I" every time it appears.
    Thank you! I think it's ok now

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: Can you check my letter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dagozar View Post
    Thank you! I think it's okay/OK now.
    See above. You can write "OK" or "okay" but not "ok". Remember to end every sentence with an appropriate punctuation mark.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. Newbie
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      • Italian
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      • Italy
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      • Italy

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    • Posts: 6
    #4

    Re: Can you check my letter?

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See above. You can write "OK" or "okay" but not "ok". Remember to end every sentence with an appropriate punctuation mark.
    Great! Thank you, but how about the letter, is it okay like this? Was "I" the only mistake?

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: Can you check my letter?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dagozar View Post
    This is a motivational letter for a study abroad program. Can you check it? I did my best.
    Thank you in advance.

    Dear Sir or Madam,

    My name’s name is (name) ​and I’m I am currently studying (faculty name of subject) at (my name of university). I’m extremely glad to have the opportunity of being to be part of the Erasmus program, thanks to my university and the EU. Building an international career is very important for my field of studies since I’m planning to work as a filmmaker.
    With this letter I would like to express my interest in studying at (University) which I think is the right choice to fulfill my dreams.

    A “Plural Artist”, as we call it at (my university), is what I need to craft for myself (I don't know what you mean by the underlined words) and there’s no better way to reach this goal than living in different cultures. to reach this target. Ironically, Unfortunately, in (my country), film studies are not considered as well as highly-regarded as others other university faculties subjects. and That's why they're accessible only through Art Academies. I have chosen to apply for (University) beacuse because of its really interesting undergraduate film courses which will surely certainly enrich my future works. I aim to developing an excellent knowledge of cinema story and techniques is what I aim for and the outstanding ratings of this your university would surely lead to an improvement of in my skills.

    I’m also convinced that your programme will benefit a lot from my presence. I have worked on with numerous softwares software programs since I was a child and have a quite large an extensive knowledge of cinema language, which I’m ready to share with other students.

    During the shooting of different shorts I've learned how to work in a team, giving the my best for in every role: I covered: directing, editing, light, and sound. However Thanks to my science studies in high school, I can reach good performace can perform well alone, through hard work. I also like to get involved in contest competitions to test my skills and to help me understand what I need to improve. I’m looking forward to being part of this awesome incredible journey called Erasmus.

    I would love to spend a semester in (city) because this would give me the chance to get in touch with British culture and deepen my knowledge of art. Moreover In addition, I could definitely improve my English and raise increase the possibilities my chances of passing the TOEFL and IELTS examination when I'll be back I return home.

    Thank you very much for your consideration. my request.


    Yours faithfully,
    (name)
    See above.

    I'm not sure if "cinema story" is the right term. Is that what it's called in Italian?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. Newbie
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    #6

    Re: Can you check my letter?

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See above.

    I'm not sure if "cinema story" is the right term. Is that what it's called in Italian?
    Sorry, I meant history. To craft for myself is bad translation i made from an Italian form. It means "To become".
    Thank you for your hard work!

  7. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #7

    Re: Can you check my letter?

    In that case, use "film history of "the history of cinema", and use "become".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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