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  1. Member
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    #11

    Re: A young man's life...

    Revised summary

    Short summary
    A young man's life is turned upside down after he embarks on a road trip with the love of his life, which take a turn for the worse.

    Long summary
    A happy-go-lucky young man embarks on a road trip with the love of his life (the girl of his dreams). During the journey, they both grow closer but before they could confess their feelings to each other, life takes a terrible turn. Overnight, their lives change and things spiral out of control as they run for their life without a clue as to why they are being haunted. What exactly happens during their road trip? What is the cause behind this horrible nightmare?

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #12

    Re: A young man's life...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    A happy-go-lucky young man embarks on a road trip with the love of his life (the girl of his dreams). During the journey, they both grow closer but before they could confess their feelings to each other, life takes a terrible turn. Overnight, their lives change and things spiral out of control as they run for their life lives without a clue as to why they are being haunted. What exactly happens during their road trip? What is the cause behind of this horrible nightmare?
    See above. I have made a couple of corrections in red. I have also underlined all the verbs. Can you see which one is not consistent with all the others (look at the tense)?
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #13

    Re: A young man's life...

    For the short summary, try:

    A young man's life is turned upside down after he embarks on a road trip with the love of his life. They have one adventure after another.

    (The original sentence takes an unfortunate turn for the weird.)

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #14

    Re: A young man's life...

    Wouldn't "hunted" be better than "haunted"?

  5. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #15

    Re: A young man's life...

    It depends what's happening to them. I assumed that this was some kind of ghost story and they were running for their lives from a scary spirit. I thought the idea of it being a "horrible nightmare" fitted with that too. That's why I left "haunted". However, you could be absolutely right and a real person was chasing them, in which case "hunted" would be correct.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #16

    Re: A young man's life...

    I didn't know it was supposed to be a ghost story.

  7. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #17

    Re: A young man's life...

    I don't know that either. That's just how I read it, but that might have been after I saw the word "haunted". It would be good if Gaya87 could shed some light on it.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  8. Member
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    #18

    Re: A young man's life...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    For the short summary, try:

    A young man's life is turned upside down after he embarks on a road trip with the love of his life. They have one adventure after another.

    (The original sentence takes an unfortunate turn for the weird.)
    I'm still thinking how to make it the sentence a lil bit long.

  9. Member
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    #19

    Re: A young man's life...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Wouldn't "hunted" be better than "haunted"?
    You are absolutely right sir, it's hunted instead haunted. Thank you.

  10. Member
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    #20

    Re: A young man's life...

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    I don't know that either. That's just how I read it, but that might have been after I saw the word "haunted". It would be good if Gaya87 could shed some light on it.
    I’m extremely sorry, I didn’t know a word (haunted) can change the whole story and the understanding. First of all, this is not a ghost story (please see below for further understanding of the story). It should be hunted instead haunted. Based on my knowledge the word “nightmare” can apply for anything that narrates to unpleasant experience, am I right? So that’s the reason why I used the word “nightmare” in my sentence. After all the comments, now I feel my summary, it can be quite confusing for a reader.

    Description:
    When a young man plans for a bike long trip along with Leela, a friend of his sister, he falls in love with her actually. During the journey, they meet with a terrible accident he injures and breaks his shoulder at the same day Leela’s parents were injured and her father doesn't seem to get alive. Thus, they feel something was wrong and that wasn't an accident. They come to know that it was a plan to kill Leela, and he decides to save Leela and his family. Basically this is the story.

    Basically,I don't want to mention that they meet with an accident in the summary, I guess it wont be that thrill to speak out the real incidents. Let me know if you have any concern. Thank you.

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