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  1. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #21

    Re: A young man's life...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    I’m extremely sorry, I didn’t know a that a single word (haunted) can could change the whole story and the understanding. First of all, this is not a ghost story (please see below for further understanding of the story). It should be "hunted" instead of "haunted". Based on my knowledge, the word “nightmare” can apply for to anything that narrates to unpleasant experience. Am I right? So that’s the reason why I used the word “nightmare” in my sentence. After all the comments, now I now feel my summary (no comma here) it can be quite confusing for a reader.

    Description:
    When A young man plans for a bike long trip along with Leela, a friend of his sister.

    he falls in love with her actually. (When does he fall in love with her? Before the trip? During the trip?)

    During the journey, they meet with a terrible accident in which he injures and breaks his shoulder.

    at On the same day, Leela’s parents were ​are injured and it looks as if her father doesn't seem to get alive won't survive.

    Thus, they [Man's name] and Leela feel something was wrong and that wasn't an accident. don't believe this is a coincidence.

    They come to know later find out that it was a plan to kill Leela, and he [man's name] decides to save Leela and his her family.

    Basically This is the basic story.

    Basically,I don't want to mention that they meet with an accident in the summary. I guess it won't be that thrill to speak out the real incidents. I think that would spoil the surprise.

    Let me know if you have any concerns. Thank you.
    See my corrections above. Thanks for clarifying that you meant "hunted", not "haunted". That doesn't change my original corrections though, other than the fact that I would have changed "haunted" to "hunted" had I known that was the case.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #22

    Re: A young man's life...

    Gaya, there is no need to apologize. That's what we're here for is to help people with that kind of stuff. (What you can do is thank Ems for the great job she did.)

    Now, let's talk about "actually" and "basically". Believe it or not, you can go for years without using either word. What you don't need to do is use "basically" twice in one paragraph.

    That's all for now.

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    #23

    Re: A young man's life...

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See my corrections above. Thanks for clarifying that you meant "hunted", not "haunted". That doesn't change my original corrections though, other than the fact that I would have changed "haunted" to "hunted" had I known that was the case.
    Thank you so much for the correction, teacher. I will correct my mistakes and rewrite another long summary. By the way, I've a question to my previous writing. What's wrong with the underlined words? I don't see any errors. Can you be more specific why those words are underlined?

    A happy-go-lucky young man embarks on a road trip with the love of his life (the girl of his dreams). During the journey, they bothgrow closer but before they could confess their feelings to each other, life takes a terrible turn. Overnight, their lives change and things spiral out of control as they run for their lifelives without a clue as to why they are being haunted. What exactly happens during their road trip? What is the cause behindof this horrible nightmare?

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    #24

    Re: A young man's life...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Gaya, there is no need to apologize. That's what we're here for is to help people with that kind of stuff. (What you can do is thank Ems for the great job she did.)

    Now, let's talk about "actually" and "basically". Believe it or not, you can go for years without using either word. What you don't need to do is use "basically" twice in one paragraph.



    That's all for now.
    Well, noted on the "actually" and "basically"

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    #25

    Re: A young man's life...

    Short summary
    A young man's life is turned upside down after he embarks on a road trip with the love of his life. They have one adventure after another.

    Long summary
    Arjun, a young man embarks on a road trip with the love of his life, Leela, a friend of his sister. During the journey, before they could confess their feelings to each other, they meet with a terrible accident and on the same day, Leela’s parents are injured and it looks as if her father won't survive. Arjun and Leela don’t believe this is a coincidence. They later find out that it was a plan to kill Leela, and Arjun decides to save Leela and her family.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #26

    Re: A young man's life...

    Long summary. First sentence.

    Arjin, a young man, embarks on a road trip with the love of his life, Leela, a friend of his sister.

    What change did I make to that sentence?

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    #27

    Re: A young man's life...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tarheel View Post
    Long summary. First sentence.

    Arjin, a young man, embarks on a road trip with the love of his life, Leela, a friend of his sister.

    What change did I make to that sentence?
    I can see there is a coma after man.

  8. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #28

    Re: A young man's life...

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    I can see there is a coma after man.
    That's definitely not the word you need!
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #29

    Re: A young man's life...

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    That's definitely not the word you need!
    I don't understand

  10. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #30

    Re: A young man's life...

    It should be comma, not coma.

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