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  1. VIP Member
    Student or Learner
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    #1

    I need help with my text

    This text is a part of a short story, which I am still writing. It is mostly about the war between the Serbs and Croats in the 1990s. In this part a Serb soldier ponders about the war. Would you please correct my mistakes and help me with these sentences so that they sound natural?

    Some weeks later, we were involved in skirmishes with the Croatian army, which was not a proper army at that time, but rather loose groups of volunteers like ourselves. This was not an ordinary warfare, where two armies fought along clear frontlines and abided by the Geneva Convention. Our war was barbaric and cruel, fought according to the rules of hatred. One village fought against another, neighbour against another, former colleagues against each other. There was no difference between soldiers and civilians; everyone was a target, even babies who understood nothing and clung to their mothers as a bullet or a piece of shrapnel shuttered their skulls.

  2. Key Member
    Interested in Language
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      • Chinese
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      • Malaysia
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    #2

    Re: I need help with my text

    shuttered - shattered
    I am not a teacher or a native speaker.

  3. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: I need help with my text

    Say:

    a short story which I am still writing

    ponders - thinks about

    Say:

    It was not ordinary warfare....

    Say:

    One village fought against another, neighbor against neighbor,, former colleagues against each other.

    And:

    a piece of shrapnel shattered their skulls

  4. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
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      • Iraq
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    #4

    Re: I need help with my text

    Quote Originally Posted by Bassim View Post
    This was no t an ordinary conventional warfare where two armies
    .

  5. Tarheel's Avatar
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    #5

    Re: I need help with my text

    I would say:

    It was not conventional warfare with uniformed armies representing nation states fighting each other.

  6. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
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    #6

    Re: I need help with my text

    Bassim, what is the title going to be? Also, you haven't posted the last installment of the last one, have you? Or did I miss it?

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