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  1. Just Joined
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      • English
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      • India
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      • India

    • Join Date: Feb 2017
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Post Request for admission in school

    The below provided is the request letter, kindly review & help me to make any changes if required or rephrase the sentence or paragraph.

    TO,
    The Principal,
    XXX School,
    India.
    Date: XXX

    Sub: Request for admission in 1st standard of my daughter XXX

    Respected Sir/Madam,

    My name is XXXX I would like to enroll my daughter XXXX aged 6 years into your school for 1st standard for the academic year 2017-18.
    Your school has very good reputation in bengaluru city and I am confident that by attending to your school, she will become better prepared to face life's challenges and to achieve her dreams.

    Since we are joint family I am aware that my niece XXXX studying in 1st Standard A section in your school. We have noticed her semester wise very good results, a drastic improvement in her skills & behavior. So I kindly request you to consider my daughter as well a potential student in your school.

    I would be very grateful if you would consider my application for a place for my daughter. Should you wish to meet in person to discuss this, please contact me and I will be delighted to attend a meeting.

    Many thanks for your consideration.

    Yours faithfully,

    (Name)

  2. Tarheel's Avatar
    VIP Member
    Interested in Language
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      • American English
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      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 15,911
    #2

    Re: Request for admission in school

    Say:

    Below is the request letter.

    Say:

    I am confident that by attending your school....

    Your niece is studying in first standard?

  3. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
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      • British English
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      • UK
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      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 50,783
    #3

    Re: Request for admission in school

    Quote Originally Posted by shekarraohs View Post
    The below provided is the request letter, kindly review & help me to make any changes if required or rephrase the sentence or paragraph. Please help me by correcting the letter below.

    TO,
    The Principal,
    XXX School,
    India.
    Date: XXX

    Sub: Request for admission in to 1st standard of for my daughter XXXRespected/Dear Sir/Madam,

    My name is XXXX I would like to enroll my six-year-old daughter, [daughter's name], aged 6 years into your school for 1st standard at your school for the academic year 2017-18.

    Your school has a very good reputation in Bengaluru City and I am confident that by attending to your school, she my daughter will become be better prepared to face life's challenges and to achieve her dreams.

    Since we are joint family I am aware that My niece, [daughter's name] is studying in 1st Standard “A” section in your school. We have noticed her semester wise She has achieved very good results and there has been a drastic improvement in her skills and behavior. So I kindly request you to consider my daughter as well a potential student in your school.

    I would be very grateful if you would consider my application for a place for my daughter. Should you wish to meet in person to discuss this, please contact me and I will be delighted to attend a meeting.

    Many thanks for your consideration.

    Yours faithfully,

    (Name)
    See above. I have shortened some sections because they were overly wordy. However, I think you need to add more details about your daughter - you have spent more time talking about your niece than about your daughter. You should provide some information about your daughter's best subjects, her interests etc.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  4. Tarheel's Avatar
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      • American English
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      • United States
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      • United States

    • Join Date: Jun 2014
    • Posts: 15,911
    #4

    Re: Request for admission in school

    What does "semester wise" mean?

    Say:

    So I kindly request that you consider my daughter for enrollment in your school.

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