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Thread: Practice essay

  1. Junior Member
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    #1

    Post Practice essay

    I am posting my practice essay
    what even have brought you closure to your family


    When I was a kid of 7-8 years old, my parents had planned to throw a surprise
    party for my grandparents on their 50th wedding anniversary. They invited all the nearest relative of the couple. Some of them, I had not met before.The day arrived ,
    and everyone seemed happy and joyful. When the grand couple entered, everyone welcomed them with flowers. It was indeed a splendid experience. We were excited to see them, and they were even more. They had been longing from a long time for the whole family gathering. Almost from the decade, they did not see them on one place as every one was busy in their personal, professional and academic life far from the home. Even,I
    had seen first time some of my cousins and relatives.My grandparents cut the cake and danced happily. Every one was enjoying the family moments. Then, they delivered a speech of thank you.They said that Family is one of the precious gifts of life. Meeting one another once in a while is necessary for the values and self development. They thanked their kids and grand kids for the wonderful occasion. I heartily thanked my parents for planning the everlasting memory in my heart.
    please correct the mistakes.

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    #2

    Re: Practice essay

    Quote Originally Posted by THOUGHTFUL View Post
    I am posting my practice essay.

    What are you practising for?

    Quote Originally Posted by THOUGHTFUL View Post
    what even have brought you closure to your family
    That is not grammatical; is it meant to be the essay prompt? If so, where did you find it?

    Quote Originally Posted by THOUGHTFUL View Post
    When I was a kid of 7-8 years old, my parents had planned to throw a surprise
    party for my grandparents on their 50th wedding anniversary. They invited all the nearest of my grandparents' close relatives. of the couple. Some of them I had not met before. The day arrived,
    and everyone seemed happy and joyful. When the my grandparents grand couple entered, everyone welcomed them with flowers. It was indeed a splendid experience. We were excited to see them, and they were even more so. They had been longing from for a long time for the whole family to get together. gathering. It had been almost from the a decade since the last family gathering theydid not see them on one place as every one was busy in their personal, professional and academic life far from the our hometown. Even I had seen It was the first time I saw some of my cousins and relatives. My grandparents cut the cake and danced happily. Every one was enjoying the those special family moments. Then, they my grandparents delivered a speech to say of thank you to all those who attended. They said that family is one of the precious gifts of in life. Meeting one another once in a while is
    necessary for the values and self development. They thanked their kids children and grandchildren kids for the wonderful occasion. I heartily thanked my parents for planning the everlasting memory in my heart.
    I do not understand the highlighted text.
    Remember to put a space after a punctuation mark.

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    #3

    Re: Practice essay

    Thank you Teecher.
    I am preparing for CBEST and randomly writing on any topic personal and persuasive.
    Yes, i found online this prompt:"What event have brought you closer to your family."

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    #4

    Angry Re: Practice essay

    Actually I should have formed another paragraph for conclusion and Thank you sppech.. Now I noticed

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    #5

    Re: Practice essay

    Quote Originally Posted by THOUGHTFUL View Post
    Thank you Teecher.
    I am preparing for CBEST and randomly writing on about any topic personal and persuasive.
    Yes, I found online this prompt online:"What event have has brought you closer to your family?"
    Quote Originally Posted by THOUGHTFUL View Post
    Actually I should have formed written another paragraph for the conclusion.
    It's not too late; you can still do that.

    Quote Originally Posted by THOUGHTFUL View Post
    and Thank you sppech
    What does that mean?

    You also haven't clarified the meaning of the text I highlighted in my previous post.

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    #6

    Re: Practice essay

    Necessary for the value and self development.

    Means: Keeping in touch with family is necessary to understand the values of family and family members. They play important role in the development of our personality.

    Planning the everlasting memory in my heart.

    Means: It were my parents who had planned the occasion. This memory has been set in my heart for forever.

    are the sentences not depciting the same meaning?

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    #7

    Re: Practice essay

    I edited the essay. Is it more clear now?


    When I was a kid of 7-8 years old, my parents had planned to throw a surprise party for my grandparents on their 50th wedding anniversary. They invited all of my grandparents' close relatives. Some of them I had not met before.

    The day arrived; everyone seemed happy and joyful. When my grandparents entered, everyone welcomed them with flowers. It was indeed a splendid experience. We were excited to see them, and they were even more so. They had been longing for a long time for the whole family to get together. It had been a decade since the last family gathering as every one was busy in their personal, professional and academic life far from our hometown. It was the first time I saw some of my cousins and relatives. My grandparents cut the cake and danced happily. Every one was enjoying the those special family moments.

    Then, my grandparents thanked to all those who attended. They shared some of their invaluable memories and anecdotes. In the end of the party, they said that family is one of the precious gifts in life. Meeting one another once in a while is necessary to understand the values of family and family members. They play an important role in the development of our personality. They
    appreciated their children and grandchildren for the wonderful occasion. I heartily thanked my parents for planning the event. It sets the everlasting memory in my heart.
    Last edited by THOUGHTFUL; 05-Feb-2017 at 03:43.

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    #8

    Re: Practice essay

    Quote Originally Posted by THOUGHTFUL View Post
    When I was a kid of around 7-8 years old, my parents had planned to throw a surprise party for my grandparents on their 50th wedding anniversary. They invited all of my grandparents' close relatives. Some of them I had not met before.

    The day arrived; everyone seemed happy and joyful. When my grandparents arrived, entered, everyone welcomed them with flowers. It was indeed a splendid experience. We were excited to see them, and they were even more so. They had been longing for a long time for the whole family to get together. It had been a decade since the last family gathering as every one was busy in with their personal, professional and or academic life far from our hometown. It was the first time I saw some of my cousins and relatives. My grandparents cut the cake and danced happily. Everyone was enjoying the those special family moments.

    Then, my grandparents thanked to all those who attended. They shared some of their invaluable priceless memories and anecdotes. In At the end of the party, they said that family is one of the most precious gifts in life. Meeting one another once in a while is necessary for family members to cement understand their bonds towards each other and to strengthen their ties to the family and its values. of family and family members. They play an important role in the development of our personality. They My grandparents truly
    appreciated their children and grandchildren for the during that wonderful occasion. I heartily thanked my parents for planning the event. It sets the left an everlasting memory in my heart.
    .

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    #9

    Re: Practice essay

    Thank you again. May I post another essay.

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    #10

    Re: Practice essay

    Quote Originally Posted by THOUGHTFUL View Post
    Thank you again. May I post another essay?
    You may post as many (short) essays as you like as long as they are for practice only and won't be marked or graded.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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