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    • Join Date: Jul 2006
    • Posts: 2
    #1

    Help with wording

    I am so happy I found this site cause I suck when it comes to writing formal emails to my clients, I sound demanding and I just want to make them understand what I am writing in the email and for them not to get bored or think that it is not worth their while.....
    Just to let you know what I do, I am a sales person for a wedding website and my job is to call up service providers like for example wedding venues, photographer, caterers and so on. The first thing I do to make them interested to come and join us is to offer them a free trial and when that is over I have to contact them and ask if they would like to carry on advertise, so far what I have come up with is as follows:-
    We spoke a while ago about a free trial on our website and I see that you have recieved all three free enquiries, I was wondering weather you would like to carry on and advertise with us, please let me know how Matrimony Online did work for you and do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions, thanks.
    Regards
    Name
    Last edited by Yondi; 13-Jul-2006 at 14:45. Reason: mispelling

  1. Ouisch's Avatar
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • United States
      • Current Location:
      • United States

    • Join Date: Mar 2006
    • Posts: 4,142
    #2

    Re: Help with wording

    Quote Originally Posted by Yondi
    We spoke a while ago about a free trial on our website and I see that you have recieved all three free enquiries, I was wondering weather you would like to carry on and advertise with us, please let me know how Matrimony Online did work for you and do not hesitate to contact us if you have any questions, thanks.
    Regards
    Name

    Just one idea, off the top of my head:

    We spoke a while ago about a free trial on our website. I hope that you've had time to review the three free enquiries we've sent. Matrimony Online looks forward to working with you on your future advertising needs. Please do not hesitate to contact us....etc


    • Join Date: Jul 2006
    • Posts: 2
    #3

    Re: Help with wording

    Thanks Quisch, I needed something exactly along those lines, something polite, thanks a lot....

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