Results 1 to 2 of 2
  1. Just Joined
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Canada
      • Current Location:
      • Canada

    • Join Date: Feb 2017
    • Posts: 1
    #1

    Proofreading and Edits to my Memoir

    I am currently in high school and my new semester has just started along with English class just starting. I have not been in an English class for about a year now so I am not quite up to speed yet with my writing. The reason I am here is because I was wondering if anybody would be willing to look through my draft and give me a bit of advice on my work? It would be greatly appreciated.

    This Memoir is supposed to be a specific incident or period of time that I lived through. We are supposed to reflect on this experience and say how it has shaped our character or how it has turned us into who we are today.

    Here is what I have so far.

    Experience is the most proficient way to learn something. The greatest teacher is not an actual teacher, but experience. This definitely holds true in this life experience of mine. Here I was going downtown to a coffee house, when I decided to stop by McDonalds for some food. On the way there I took notice of this man asking people for money. Right away, a light bulb went off in my head. I was going to buy some food for the poor fella. All excited I was to buy the man some food; I went and got a regular cheeseburger for him, since everybody loves a good cheeseburger. You should have seen the look on his face. He was so thankful that he offered me a smoke, which I refused, because you know, I am not a smoker. After that, thatís when it hit me: he had a wife that was pregnant behind him. I had decided to give them the extra food that I had bought for myself, since I had so much pity for them. Later on, I arrived at the coffee house and told my friends about the encounter. I realized my true motives werenít to do a random act of kindness, but to get a reward out of it.

    Thatís the meat of this lesson. I had only done it for the reward, and not just to be kind, which taught me to do things more without expecting something in return. I truly believe this experience has shaped me into the person I am today along with all my other experiences. This is where it brings me back to experience being the best teacher. I have now realized for myself to be kind for the sake of just being kind, and not to expect something in return.

  2. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 7,777
    #2

    Re: Proofreading and Edits to my Memoir

    Quote Originally Posted by Evan_ View Post
    I am currently in high school, and my the new semester has just started along with my English class. just starting. I have not been in an English class for about a year now, so I am not quite up to speed yet with my writing. The reason I am here is because I was wondering if anybody would be willing to look through my draft and give me a bit of advice on my work. It would be greatly appreciated.

    This Memoir is supposed to be a specific incident or period of time that I lived through. We are supposed to reflect on this experience and say how it has shaped our character or how it has turned us into who we are today.
    Hi Evan, and welcome to the forum.

    Are you submitting that writing as homework?

Similar Threads

  1. [Cover Letter] Please go over my cover later and let me know if there any edits i need to make
    By Withnati in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 15-May-2016, 08:16
  2. Can I please get edits on my college essay?
    By jsilverberg-rajna in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 09-Nov-2015, 10:25
  3. memoir
    By jiang_14 in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 15-Nov-2014, 04:14
  4. Memoir
    By goonj in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 11-Mar-2010, 06:53

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •