Results 1 to 6 of 6
  1. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • Spain

    • Join Date: Feb 2017
    • Posts: 3
    #1

    Post Statement of Purpose writing

    I'm applying for an internship to study a master's in a U.S. university to specialize in graphics programming and simulation.


    I'm from Spain, and they rate the SoP from 1 to 8. If I don't get 8 points I get disqualified because of the competitivity and low total number of granted internships.


    I will share this statement with my professors too but I would really appreciate some help online. What do you think about my writing skills? Please have a look and tell me if it is boring, or if you honestly like it. The maximum length is 3 pages, so If you find any useless and generic area I will delete it. All criticism is welcomed.


    I've already been told that my Universities section is weak, that I need to say something special about each one. What do you think about that?


    Btw, the link in the document is not available yet.
    Thanks in advance.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 47,433
    #2

    Re: Statement of Purpose writing

    You can post short excerpts from your statement of purpose in this section and we can look at them. Don't post more than one paragraph at a time and wait for responses before posting the next excerpt.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • Spain

    • Join Date: Feb 2017
    • Posts: 3
    #3

    Re: Statement of Purpose writing

    I would like to start with your opinion about the first paragraph:
    Although I hadn't the technical knowledge to make a professional video game, I certainly had
    enough creativity and enthusiasm, as I often made wizardry with the Office suite installed in
    my father's old Windows 95. I managed to create kind of a 2D role play game by coloring cells
    in an excel document and moving across the map with the keyboard arrows. I even
    represented characters and dialogues with the comment annotation Excel functionality, which
    popped up some text when placing the mouse over the characterís cell.

  4. Newbie
    Student or Learner
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Spanish
      • Home Country:
      • Spain
      • Current Location:
      • Spain

    • Join Date: Feb 2017
    • Posts: 3
    #4

    Re: Statement of Purpose writing

    Would you have a look at ... for the introduction part I 've shown included in the previous post? Which one do you prefer?.

    Last edited by teechar; 07-Feb-2017 at 11:55. Reason: removed link

  5. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 7,723
    #5

    Re: Statement of Purpose writing

    Please do not post external links to your text. Just write the text in the actual post.

  6. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 7,723
    #6

    Re: Statement of Purpose writing

    Quote Originally Posted by jmb95 View Post
    Although I hadn't the technical knowledge to make a professional video game, I certainly had enough creativity imagination and enthusiasm , as I often made wizardry to be creative with the Office suite installed in my father's old Windows 95 computer. I managed to create a kind of a 2D role-playing game by coloring cells in an Excel document spreadsheet and moving across the map with the keyboard arrows. I even represented characters and dialogues with the comment annotation facility in Excel, functionality, which popped up some text when the mouse was placed ing the mouse over the character's cell.
    .

Similar Threads

  1. [Application] statement of purpose
    By moh.hadagano in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 05-Jan-2017, 02:39
  2. Statement of purpose. Help me please.....
    By tarif in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 10-Sep-2014, 13:56
  3. [Grammar] Statement of purpose
    By musharaf in forum Ask a Teacher
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 21-Jun-2013, 22:12
  4. Can I please get some help with my statement of purpose?
    By claudianagy in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 23-May-2010, 20:33
  5. Can I please get some help with my statement of purpose?2
    By claudianagy in forum CVs, Resumes and Applications
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 23-May-2010, 20:28

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •