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  1. VIP Member
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    #1

    Clive was finishing his dinner

    I am wondering if my sentences sound natural. Would you please correct my mistakes?

    Clive was finishing his dinner when two heavyset men came in the restaurant and headed for him. He felt is if a fish bone had stuck in his throat.

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #2

    Re: Clive was finishing his dinner

    Use "came into" or "entered", but not "came in".
    I'd probably add "straight" after "headed".
    I think you meant "as if", not "is if".
    In BrE, we'd add "got" before "stuck", or change "had" to "was".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #3

    Re: Clive was finishing his dinner

    Here is my sentence after emsr2d2's advice. I hope this is correct.

    Clive was finishing his diner when two heavyset men came into the restaurant and headed straight for him. He felt as if a fishbone got stuck in his throat.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
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    #4

    Re: Clive was finishing his dinner

    3 out of 4's not bad! I probably should have been clearer with point 4 - I meant that you should keep all the words that were already there, but add "got" between "had" and "stuck".
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

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    #5

    Re: Clive was finishing his dinner

    Here is my third attempt.

    Clive was finishing his dinner when two heavyset men came into the restaurant and headed straight for him. He felt as if a fishbone had got stuck in his throat.

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