Results 1 to 9 of 9
  1. Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Jan 2016
    • Posts: 264
    #1

    Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

    *************************
    Dear Tom,

    Iím excited to hear that you will come to China to spend the Chinese New Yearís Eve together with us. My family expects your arrival so much. I am glad to tell you the arrangements during your stay in Beijing in advance.

    I will meet you at four oíclock on the afternoon of February 18th at the Northwest Exit of Zhongguancun Station of Subway Line 4. After you arrive, we will have various traditional activities, such as watching the Spring Festival Gala, making dumplings, and setting off firecrackers, all of which will let you enjoy the happy atmosphere of the festival.

    Looking forward to seeing you soon!

    Yours,
    Li Hua

    **************************
    The above is a kind of writing practice for my students. It presumes that your British friend Tom will come to your home spending the Chinese New Yearís Eve together. You are going to send an email to inform him of relating information. The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after checking their work. I hope someone would check it and help perfect it. Many thanks in advance.
    Last edited by teechar; 13-Feb-2017 at 11:21. Reason: changed "essay" to "letter"

  2. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 47,357
    #2

    Re: Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    Dear Tom,

    Iím excited to hear that you will come you're coming to China to spend the Chinese New Yearís Eve together with us. My family expects is looking forward to your arrival so much. I am glad to tell you the arrangements during your stay in Beijing in advance. Here's the plan!

    I will meet you at four oíclock on the afternoon 4pm of on February 18th at the northwest exit of Zhongguancun Station, of Subway Line 4. After you arrive Later, we will have take part in various traditional activities, such as watching the Spring Festival Gala, making dumplings, and setting off firecrackers, all of which will let help you enjoy the happy atmosphere of the festival.

    Looking forward to seeing you soon!

    Yours,
    Li Hua

    **************************
    The above is a kind of writing practice for my students. It presumes that your British friend Tom will come to your home spending the Chinese New Yearís Eve together. You are going to send an email to inform him of relating information. The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after checking their work. I hope someone would check it and help perfect it. Many thanks in advance.
    See above. If the letter is from one friend to another, it would probably be less formal than your original. I realise this is a writing exercise but let me give you an example of how I would write it to a friend:

    Hi Jane

    I'm so excited that you're coming to stay with us for Chinese New Year! We're really looking forward to it. Here's the plan - I'll pick you up at 4pm at the XXX exit of subway Line 4. We'll drop your luggage at the house and then go out and have fun - we can watch the Spring Festival Gala, make dumplings, set off firecrackers - you'll love it!

    See you on Feb 18th!
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  3. Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Jan 2016
    • Posts: 264
    #3

    Re: Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

    Quote Originally Posted by emsr2d2 View Post
    See above. If the letter is from one friend to another, it would probably be less formal than your original. I realise this is a writing exercise but let me give you an example of how I would write it to a friend:

    Hi Jane

    I'm so excited that you're coming to stay with us for Chinese New Year! We're really looking forward to it. Here's the plan - I'll pick you up at 4pm at the XXX exit of subway Line 4. We'll drop your luggage at the house and then go out and have fun - we can watch the Spring Festival Gala, make dumplings, set off firecrackers - you'll love it!

    See you on Feb 18th!
    Thank you so much for your help. It is very considerate of you to give me an example, which definitely makes it easier for me to understand how to write a letter to my friends. After checking my students' work, I will post one of my correction work. I hope you can offer me some advice on it.
    Last edited by rodgers white; 13-Feb-2017 at 13:03.

  4. emsr2d2's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • British English
      • Home Country:
      • UK
      • Current Location:
      • UK

    • Join Date: Jul 2009
    • Posts: 47,357
    #4

    Re: Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    Thank you so much for your help. It is very considerate of you to give me an example, which definitely makes it easier for me to understand how to write a letter to my friends. After checking my students' work, I will post one of their letters with my corrections. work. I hope you can offer me some advice on it.
    Yes, we will be able to help you with that.
    Remember - if you don't use correct capitalisation, punctuation and spacing, anything you write will be incorrect.

  5. Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Jan 2016
    • Posts: 264
    #5

    Re: Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

    *****************************
    Dear Tom

    I’m excited to hear that you will come to China to spend the Chinese New Year’s Eve. My family will give you a warm welcome when you arrive at my house. By the way, I intend to pick you up at the subway station on the 4 p.m. February 18th. It’s the northwest entrance at the Zhong Guancun station where I will wait for me.
    In the evening, we will arrange some traditional chinese activities such as eating dumping and watch the Spring Festival Show.
    I’m looking forward to hearing from you.
    Yours,
    Li Hua

    *****************************

    The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work. Please check the following and help me further improve it. The word limit is around 80. Many thanks in advance.


    ******************************
    Dear Tom,

    I’m excited to hear that you're coming to China to spend Chinese New Year’s Eve. My family is looking forward to your stay with us. Here’s the plan. I will pick you up at 4 p.m. on February 18th at the northwest exit of Zhongguancun station, Subway Line 4.
    In the evening, we will arrange some traditional Chinese activities such as eating dumpings,watching the Spring Festival Gala and setting off fireworks.
    I’m looking forward to seeing you.
    Yours,
    Li Hua
    ******************************
    Last edited by rodgers white; 14-Feb-2017 at 15:12.

  6. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 7,682
    #6

    Re: Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

    The letter in post #5 is very similar to the versions above. How can that be if it was written by a completely different person (one of your students)?

  7. Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Jan 2016
    • Posts: 264
    #7

    Re: Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    The letter in post #5 is very similar to the versions above. How can that be if it was written by a completely different person (one of your students)?
    Teechar, my friend, I'm sorry for my carelessness and thank you very much for your concern. You are careful and responsible at your work. The compositions that I assign for my students' writing practice often provide some key information in Chinese such as the activities they had for fun for this one, which will certainly make it easier for my students to write. Also, the first sentence is usually given. Of course, students are allowed to use their own first sentences and add some other contents themselves as long as they write their work within 100 words. Unfortunately, there are few students who actually want to try this. So, I always encourage them to have a try.
    Last edited by rodgers white; 15-Feb-2017 at 12:36.

  8. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 7,682
    #8

    Re: Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    *****************************
    Dear Tom,

    Iím excited to hear that you will come to China to spend the Chinese New Yearís Eve with us. My family will give you a warm welcome when you arrive at my house. By the way, I intend to pick you up at the subway station on the at 4 p.m. on February 18th. Itís I'll be waiting for you at the northwest entrance at the of Zhong Guancun Station. where I will wait for me.

    In the evening, we will arrange do some traditional Chinese things activities such as eating dumplings and watching the Spring Festival Show.

    I'm looking forward to your visit. hearing from you.

    Yours,

    Li Hua

    *****************************

    The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work. Please check the following and help me further improve it. The word limit is around 80 [You should be specific with your word limits.] . Many thanks in advance.


    ******************************
    Dear Tom,

    I'm excited to hear that you're coming to China to spend Chinese New Yearís Eve. My family is looking forward to your stay with us. Hereís the plan. I will pick you up at 4 p.m. on February 18th at the northwest exit of Zhongguancun station, Subway Line 4.
    In the evening, we will arrange some traditional Chinese activities such as eating dumplings,watching the Spring Festival Gala and setting off fireworks.

    Iím looking forward to seeing you.

    Yours,

    Li Hua

    ******************************
    Take a look at meaning #4 of "dump" as a noun in the link below.

    https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/dump

    Do you see what "eating dumpings" can imply and why it's, therefore, important to pay attention to spelling? Try to convey that to your students.

  9. Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Jan 2016
    • Posts: 264
    #9

    Re: Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Take a look at meaning #4 of "dump" as a noun in the link below.

    https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/dump

    Do you see what "eating dumpings" can imply and why it's, therefore, important to pay attention to spelling? Try to convey that to your students.
    I really appreciate your help,and I'm so sorry for my carelessness. I thought I had already paid enough attention on my grammar, spelling and punctuation when posting my threads. However, now I have realized that I need to be more careful through the lesson you taught me. Thank you again for everything you have done for me, teechar, my friend.

Similar Threads

  1. [Essay] Please check my continuation writing and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.
    By rodgers white in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: 10-Feb-2017, 11:10
  2. [Essay] Please check my continuation writing and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.
    By rodgers white in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 03-Feb-2017, 18:08
  3. [Essay] Please proofread my summary and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.
    By rodgers white in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 28-Jan-2017, 15:37
  4. [Essay] Please help me proofread and polish this report; please accept many thanks in advance
    By rodgers white in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: 20-Jan-2017, 06:39
  5. [Essay] Essay IELTS, please check it. Thanks in advance
    By rashidjon in forum Editing & Writing Topics
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 16-Apr-2010, 15:47

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •