[Essay] Please check my continuation writing and help improve it.

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rodgers white

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In 1974, after filling out fifty applications, going through four interviews, and winning one offer, I took what I could get—a teaching job at what I considered a distant wild area:western New Jersey. My characteristic optimism was alive only when I reminded myself that I would be doing what I had wanted to do since I was fourteen—teaching English.
School started, I was teaching English. I worked hard, taking time off only to eat and sleep. And then there was my sixth grade class who were only six years younger than me. I had a problem long before I knew it. I was struggling in my work as a young idealistic teacher. I wanted to make literature come alive and to promote a love of the written word. The students wanted to throw spitballs and whisper dirty words in the back of the room.
In college I had been taught that a successful educator should ignore bad behavior. So I did, confident that, the bad behavior would disappear as I gave my students positive attention. But in fact, humans particularly teenagers rarely seem reasonable. By the time my boss, who was also my taskmaster, known to be the strictest, most demanding, most quick to fire inexperienced teachers, came into the classroom to observe me, the students exhibited very little good behavior to praise.
My boss sat in the back of the room. The boys in the class were making animal noises, hitting each other while the girls filed their nails or read magazines. I just pretended it all wasn’t happening, and went on lecturing and tried to ask some inspiring questions. My boss, sitting in the back of room, seemed to be growing bigger and bigger. After twenty minutes he left, silently. Versions of unemployment marched before my eyes.

The task is to do a continuation writing. The requirements are as follows:
I. The word limit is around 150, but no less than 130.
II. At least six underlined keywords or expressions must be used and highlighted as well in your continuation writing.
III.Your continuation writing is divided into two paragraphs whose first sentences have already been given.

Paragraph 1:
After class, I took a deep breath and walked into his office. ___________________________

Paragraph 2:
Fifteen years later, I still drive that winding road to the same school. ____________

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After class, I took a deep breath and walked into his office. I said nothing, just thinking that I would be fired. To my great surprise, my boss didn’t glare at me with burning eyes. Instead, he patiently named my problems that as teacher I shouldn’t have ignored the bad behavior of my students. We discussed how I could deal with the situation I met. Finally, I was encouraged and full of confidence when leaving the office.

Fifteen years later, I still drive that winding road to the same school. My boss and I always sit together, talking about the new students and their problems. In fact, he becomes a teacher of me by teaching me the truth of education—“The secret to education lies in respecting the pupil.” Thanks to the help I received from him that first year, I have grown as a successful educator as he is now.

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The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after I finish checking their work. Please check it and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.
 
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teechar

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After class, I took a deep breath and walked into his office. I said nothing, just thinking that I would be fired. To my great surprise, my boss didn’t glare at me with burning eyes. Instead, he patiently [STRIKE]named[/STRIKE] outlined my problems; mainly that as teacher, I shouldn’t have ignored the bad behavior of my students. We discussed how I could deal with the situation I faced. [STRIKE]met. Finally,[/STRIKE]At the end, I felt optimistic [STRIKE]was encouraged[/STRIKE] and full of confidence when leaving the office.

Fifteen years later, I still drive that winding road to the same school. My boss and I always sit together and talk [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] about the new students and their problems. In fact over the years, he has taught me the purpose and essence [STRIKE]becomes a teacher of me by teaching me the truth[/STRIKE] of education. “The secret to education lies in respecting the pupil,” he always says. Thanks to the help I received from him that first year, I have grown [STRIKE]as[/STRIKE] to be a successful educator in my school. [STRIKE]as he is now.[/STRIKE]
.
 

rodgers white

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 17, 2016
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
Chinese
Home Country
China
Current Location
China
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After class, I took a deep breath and walked into his office. Considering probably being fired, I didn’t dare to look at my boss. At the moment, he asked me to hold up head. To my surprise, he not only didn’t blame me but also encouraged me that it’s a time when students pay no attention to what you teach. Since then, my boss tought me how to catch the students’ and manage their behavior. As times went by, I gradually became as a successful educator.
Fifteen years later, I still drive that winding road to the same school. One day, I came across a student which I had tought before. This students devoted himself to writing because the influence of me and it reminded me of the help of my boss which made great importance to my life. What’s more, there is no doubt that my belife to be a idealistic teacher is right.

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The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work.
Please check the following and help me further improve it. Many thanks in advance.

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After class, I took a deep breath and walked into his office. Considering probably being fired, I didn’t dare to look at my boss. Seeing that, he asked me to hold up my head. To my surprise, he didn’t blame me but encouraged me that it’s a time when I should think about why my students didn’t want to pay any attention to what I taught. Since then, my boss taught me how to catch the students’ attention and manage the bad behavior. As times went by, I gradually became as a successful educator in my school.
Fifteen years later, I still drive that winding road to the same school. One day, I came across a student which I had taught before. This student devotes himself to writing because of the influence from me, and it reminds me of the help of my boss which has made great changes to my life. What’s more, there is no doubt that my belief to be an idealistic teacher is right.

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Last edited:

teechar

Moderator
Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
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English Teacher
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Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
After class, I took a deep breath and walked into his office. Considering that I would probably get [STRIKE]being[/STRIKE] fired, I didn’t dare to look at my boss. At [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] that moment, he asked me to look up at him. [STRIKE]hold up head.[/STRIKE] To my surprise, he not only didn’t blame me, but also encouraged me to see that as an opportunity to find out why [STRIKE]that it’s a time when[/STRIKE] students pay no attention sometimes to their teacher. [STRIKE]what you teach.[/STRIKE] Since then, my boss taught me how to [STRIKE]catch the[/STRIKE] control my students and manage their behavior. As time went by, I [STRIKE]gradually[/STRIKE] gained experience and eventually became [STRIKE]as[/STRIKE] a successful educator.

Fifteen years later, I still drive that winding road to the same school. One day, I came across a student [STRIKE]which[/STRIKE] whom I had taught before. This student devoted himself to writing because [STRIKE]the[/STRIKE] of my influence, [STRIKE]of me[/STRIKE] and it reminded me of the help [STRIKE]of[/STRIKE] I got from my boss which made a great [STRIKE]importance to[/STRIKE] impact on my professional life. What’s more, there is no doubt that my [STRIKE]belife to be[/STRIKE]belief about being an idealistic teacher is right.
.
 
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