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    #1

    When John went to his former wife

    I am wondering if my sentences sound natural. I am concerned about my second sentence. I am not sure if it sounds natural. Would you please correct my mistakes?

    When John went to his former wife to take with him their children over the weekend and saw her and his best friend sitting and drinking coffee in the kitchen, he saw red. He wanted to beat them both to a pulp. He was only uncertain with whom he would start first.

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    #2

    Re: When John went to his former wife

    I think you should start over on the first sentence. Try to replace it with a couple of shorter sentences. Write He wanted to beat them both to a pulp; he just wasn't sure which one to start with.
    I am not a teacher.

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    #3

    Re: When John went to his former wife

    GoesStation,
    Thank you for your very useful advice. Now I see how after your corrections my sentences turn into the forms I would like to write them. Unfortunately I still lack the knowledge and routine. But at least I am doing these exercising hoping they will help me make my language better.

    Here is my second try:

    John went to his former wife to take his children with him over the weekend. He saw her and his best friend sitting and drinking coffee in the kitchen and became furious. He wanted to beat them both to a pulp; he just wasn't sure which one to start with.

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    #4

    Re: When John went to his former wife

    That's better. It's not likely that he would go to his former wife; he probably went to his ex-wife's house to pick up his children for the weekend.
    I am not a teacher.

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