checking my motivation letter

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deli

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Joined
Feb 17, 2017
Member Type
Student or Learner
Native Language
Persian
Home Country
Iran
Current Location
Iran
Dear Sir/Madam,
My name is XXXXXX. I am writing this motivation letter to apply for a Student Visa.
Due to the fact that Iran is demanding High-Tech Knowledge resources in the field of Information Technology, it would be a great opportunity for me to finish my academic education in Germany. However, before starting the master of “General Informatics” in DIT (referred to Deggendorf Institute of Technology), which has two specific branches, I must participate in “Let’s Get Started” Programme and pass the DSH exams to accomplish the German language requirement in DIT.
As I mentioned before, Master of General Informatics Programme divided into two branches named Electro-technique and Media-technique. Media-technique, which has been my own favourite Major since my high school, consist of 3D-computer animation, computer vision, security in IT, App. Design, selected interactive systems, multi-content and streaming and industrial picture processing courses.
After graduation, a vast of professional opportunities in various fields like medicine, automotive industries, security systems, embedded systems will be approachable. As a professional goal, working with such multimedia systems is my first option and Doctorate in medicine embedded systems field has the second place on my priority list.
Because of next brief explanation, I am the right person for this programme. I was a top student in high school and a member of “top talents association of Iran”, which is an organisation for Olympiad, in math and physics. In 16 I passed the Scout swim course but because of my young age I didn’t receive a card or certificate. I also have been learned piano and English from my 12. Self-tutoring Japanese, HTML, CSS and Java is my hobby now.
Furthermore, conquering depression in my bachelor period was my greatest victory in my life and after that motivating myself and others has been dramatically easier for me. As my mind serves me well, I have had a great passion for learning and researching in different fields. I have basic accounting and Network + certification, which can help establishing my own business start-up.
To be realistic, Iran is different from Germany whether studying as a student, working as an employee or living as a citizen. The most significant German characteristics are Regulation and Insurance, which is adoptable from my home country. Especially in the field of IT insurance, there are a wide range of capabilities in means of commerce and knowledge transition.
On the other hand IT products like e-Brian and M-ECO, which have been used in medicine, are interesting and highly needed in hospitals and R&D centres. Large companies like Siemens also provide young graduated talents considerable career experiences opportunities, which I am eager to know more. I consider with my intellectual skills are fairly enough and I would put my utmost effort to gain the best outcomes.

Yours sincerely
XXXXXX
 
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teechar

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Staff member
Joined
Feb 18, 2015
Member Type
English Teacher
Native Language
English
Home Country
Iraq
Current Location
Iraq
Dear Sir/Madam,

[STRIKE]My name is XXXXXX.[/STRIKE] I am writing this motivation letter to apply for a student visa.
Due to the fact that the demand for IT professionals in Iran is projected to soar in the medium and long terms, [STRIKE]demanding High-Tech Knowledge resources in the field of Information Technology,[/STRIKE] it would be a great opportunity for me to [STRIKE]finish[/STRIKE] continue my [STRIKE]academic[/STRIKE] education in Germany and obtain a highly regarded qualification. However, before starting the Master of General Informatics [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] at DIT ([STRIKE]referred to[/STRIKE] Deggendorf Institute of Technology), which has two specific branches, I must participate in the Let’s Get Started programme and pass the DSH exams to [STRIKE]accomplish[/STRIKE] satisfy the German language requirement in DIT.

[STRIKE]As mentioned before,[/STRIKE] The Master of General Informatics programme is divided into two branches- [STRIKE]named[/STRIKE] Electro-technique and Media-technique. Media-technique, which has been my own favourite [STRIKE]Major[/STRIKE] since [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] high school, consists of 3D-computer animation, computer vision, security in IT, App. Design, selected interactive systems, multi-content and streaming and industrial picture processing courses.

After graduation, a vast number of professional opportunities in various fields like medicine, automotive industries, security systems, embedded systems will be available to me. [STRIKE]approachable.[/STRIKE] As a professional goal, working with [STRIKE]such[/STRIKE] multimedia systems is my first option, [STRIKE]and[/STRIKE] while pursuing a doctorate in embedded systems in medicine [STRIKE]embedded systems field has the[/STRIKE] would be my second. [STRIKE]place on my priority list.[/STRIKE]

[STRIKE]Because of next brief explanation, I am the right person for this programme.[/STRIKE] I was a top student in high school and a member of the Top Talents Association of Iran, which is an organisation [STRIKE]for[/STRIKE] involved in the Olympiads in math and physics. [STRIKE]In[/STRIKE] At 16, I passed the scouts swimming course but because of my young age, I didn’t receive a card or certificate. I also have been learning [STRIKE]ed[/STRIKE] piano and English [STRIKE]from my[/STRIKE] since the age of 12. I am currently teaching myself [STRIKE]Self-tutoring[/STRIKE] Japanese, HTML, CSS and Java. [STRIKE]is my hobby now.[/STRIKE]

Furthermore, conquering depression [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] during my bachelor's studies [STRIKE]period[/STRIKE] was [STRIKE]my[/STRIKE] the greatest victory in my life, [STRIKE]and after that[/STRIKE] which allowed me to go on motivating myself and others. [STRIKE]has been dramatically easier for me. As my mind serves me well,[/STRIKE] I have had a great passion for learning and researching in different fields. I have basic accounting and Network+ certification, which I hope will [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] help me establish [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] my own [STRIKE]business[/STRIKE] start-up business later on.

To be realistic, Iran is different from Germany whether studying as a student, working as an employee or living as a citizen. The most significant German characteristics are Regulation and Insurance, which is adoptable from my home country. Especially in the field of IT insurance, there are a wide range of capabilities in means of commerce and knowledge transition. [I have no idea what the purpose of this paragraph is. Leave it out if it's not absolutely necessary.]

On the other hand, IT products like e-Brian [Is that supposed to be e-Brain?] and M-ECO, which [STRIKE]have been[/STRIKE] are used in medicine, are interesting and highly needed in hospitals and R&D centres. Large companies like Siemens also provide young graduate talents [STRIKE]considerable career experiences[/STRIKE] valuable opportunities to gain practical experience, which I am eager to know more about. [STRIKE]I consider with my intellectual skills are fairly enough and I would put my utmost effort to gain the best outcomes.[/STRIKE] Should I be given the opportunity to study in Germany, I will do my utmost to succeed.

Yours faithfully, [STRIKE]sincerely[/STRIKE]

XXXXXX
.
 
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