Please check my letter and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.

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rodgers white

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing to apply for working as an intern at your charitable foundation. I’m presently a student of Senior 3, and I can speak English fluently. Besides, I’m an active and enthusiastic person who enjoys working with different people and can adapt well to new situations. Charity is a noble cause, and I always have a strong passion for it. I believe that being an intern at your foundation will be a wonderful practice for me. I’ll be willing to send you any further information if you consider my request.
Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your reply.

Sincerely,
Li Hua
**************************
The above is self recommendation writing practice for my students. It presumes that you are a student of Senior 3, and you’re writing a letter of recommendation to a charitable foundation that is recruiting an intern who is in charge of translation and writing. The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after checking their work. I hope someone would check it and help perfect it. Many thanks in advance.
 

teechar

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing to apply for work [STRIKE]ing[/STRIKE] as an intern at your charitable foundation. I’m presently a student of Senior 3, and I can speak English fluently. Besides, I’m an active and enthusiastic person who enjoys working with different people and can adapt well to new situations. Charity is a noble cause, and I've always had [STRIKE]have[/STRIKE] a strong passion for it. I believe that being an intern at your foundation will be a wonderful [STRIKE]practice[/STRIKE] experience for me. [STRIKE]I’ll be willing to send[/STRIKE] Should you require any further information, please do not hesitate to contact me. [STRIKE]if you consider my request.[/STRIKE]

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your reply.

Yours faithfully,
[STRIKE]Sincerely,[/STRIKE]

Li Hua
**************************
The above is self recommendation writing practice for my students. It presumes that you are a student of Senior 3, and you’re writing a letter of self recommendation to a charitable foundation that is recruiting an intern [STRIKE]who is[/STRIKE] to be in charge of translation and writing. The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after checking their work. I hope someone would check it and help perfect it. Many thanks in advance.

I've never heard of a self-recommendation letter. I mean, who is going to say something bad about themselves?! :shock:

To me, this just another case of HR gone berserk!
 

rodgers white

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I've never heard of a self-recommendation letter. I mean, who is going to say something bad about themselves?! :shock:

To me, this just another case of HR gone berserk!

Teechar, you are right. This is just an ordinary job application letter. In China, when we say "self recommendation letter", it means you just want to advertise yourself to a company or an organization that you love to work for. But here it's just a job you're applying for. So, it's not the same situation.
By the way, why do you think this letter will drive HR(Human Resoures)crazy? I just do not get it.
 

emsr2d2

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Teechar didn't say the letter would send HR crazy. Saying "This is HR gone berserk" indicates that such a letter is evidence that the situation in HR generally is currently crazy.
 

rodgers white

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Teechar didn't say the letter would send HR crazy. Saying "This is HR gone berserk" indicates that such a letter is evidence that the situation in HR generally is currently crazy.
You mean the working staff in HR will become as busy as a bee or even crazy because of this recruitment?
 
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rodgers white

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing to apply for working as an intern at your charitable foundation. I’m a grade 3 student at Hong Xing Senior high School and interested in English. Besides, I am equal to the job with the following reasons: Firstly, I have a command of English grammar. Meanwhile, I can work patiently and carefully. What’s more, my school think highly of this opportunity and will introduce the foundation around.

I will appreciate it if I could be chosen.

Sincerely,

Li Hua

******************

The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work. Please check the following and help me further improve it. The word limit is between 60 and 90. Many thanks in advance.


*********************
Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing to apply for work[STRIKE] ing[/STRIKE] as an intern at your charitable foundation. I’m a Grade 3 student at Hongxing Senior High School and interested in English. Besides, I am [STRIKE]equal to[/STRIKE] qualified for the job [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] because of the following reasons: Firstly, I have a command of English grammar. Meanwhile, I can work patiently and carefully. What’s more, my school thinks highly of this opportunity and [STRIKE]will introduce the foundation around[/STRIKE] encourage us to apply.

I will appreciate it if I [STRIKE] could be chosen[/STRIKE] can receive your early reply.

Yours faithfully,

Li Hua

*******************
 
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teechar

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You mean the working staff in HR will become as busy as a bee or even crazy because of this recruitment?
No, I meant that the world of HR is going overboard, inventing things (e.g., the self-recommendation letter) to justify their own existence!
 

teechar

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Dear Sir or Madam,

I’m writing to apply for [STRIKE]working[/STRIKE] a job/position as an intern at your charitable foundation. I’m a Grade 3 student at Hong Xing Senior high School, and I'm very interested in English. Besides, I believe that I am [STRIKE]equal to[/STRIKE] qualified for the job [STRIKE]with[/STRIKE] for the following reasons: Firstly, I have a strong command of English. [STRIKE]grammar. Meanwhile,[/STRIKE] Moreover, I am diligent and meticulous in my [STRIKE]can[/STRIKE] work. [STRIKE]patiently and carefully.[/STRIKE] What’s more, my school think highly of this opportunity and will introduce the foundation around. [I have no idea what the highlighted sentence is supposed to mean.]

[STRIKE] I will appreciate it if I could be chosen.[/STRIKE]

Thank you for considering my application.

[STRIKE]Sincerely,[/STRIKE]
Yours faithfully,

Li Hua
.
 

rodgers white

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No, I meant that the world of HR is going overboard, inventing things (e.g., the self-recommendation letter) to justify their own existence!
Got it. I really appreciate your patient guidance.
 

rodgers white

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.What’s more, my school think highly of this opportunity and will introduce the foundation around. [I have no idea what the highlighted sentence is supposed to mean.]

I think my student just wants to say: What's more, my school think highly of this charitable foundation and encourage us to apply for this job.
 

teechar

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I think my student just wants to say: What's more, my school thinks highly of [STRIKE]this[/STRIKE] your charitable foundation and encourages us to apply for this job.
.
 

rodgers white

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I would like to advise my student to write in this way: Most importantly, I've always had a passion for charity. I'm sure being an intern at your foundation would be a wonderful and unforgettable experience for me. What do you think?
 

teechar

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I would like to [STRIKE]advise[/STRIKE] suggest to my student to write [STRIKE]in[/STRIKE] this [STRIKE]way[/STRIKE]: Most importantly, I've always had a passion for charity. I'm sure being an intern at your foundation would be a wonderful and unforgettable experience for me. What do you think?
That's also possible.
 
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