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  1. Member
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      • China
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    • Posts: 264
    #1

    Please check my continuation writing and help improve it.

    **********************************
    We have all heard the expression: “Remember to stop and smell the roses.” But, how often do we really take time out of our busy fast-paced lives to notice the world around us? I have reflected back on one situation many times since it happened and have learned several powerful lessons from it.

    I am as guilty as anyone of ignoring the world around in this manner, especially when I am driving on California’s overcrowded streets. A short time ago, however, I witnessed an event that showed me how being wrapped up in my own little world has kept me from being fully aware of the bigger world picture around me.

    I was driving to a business appointment and, as usual, I was planning in my mind what I was going to say. I came to a very busy crossroads where the stoplight had just turned red. “All right,” I thought to myself, “ I can beat the next light if I race ahead of the pack.” My mind and car were in auto pilot, ready to go when suddenly my absent-minded state was broken by an unforgettable sight.

    A young couple, both blind, was walking arm-in-arm across this busy crossroads with cars whizzing by in every direction. The man was holding the hand of a little boy, while the woman was holding something tightly in her hands that sling to her chest, obviously carrying a child. Each of them had a white walking stick extended, searching for clues to navigate them across the crossroads.

    Initially I was moved. They were overcoming what I felt was one of the most feared handicaps---blindness. “Wouldn’t it be terrible to be blind?” I thought. Without realizing the danger they were in, they were walking right the path of oncoming cars. I was frightened for them because I didn’t know if the other drivers understood what was happening.

    However, as I watched from the front line of traffic, I saw a miracle unfold before my eyes.

    ***********************************


    The task is to do a continuation writing. The requirements are as follows:

    I. The word limit is between 130 and 150.
    II. At least six underlined keywords or expressions must be used and highlighted as well in your continuation writing.
    III.Your continuation writing is divided into two paragraphs whose first sentences have already been given.

    Paragraph 1:
    Every car in every direction did the same thing.___________________________

    Paragraph 2:
    Never noticing something different, the couple adjusted their route as they followed the coaching. ____________




    ****************************************
    Every car in every direction did the same thing. They stopped at the same time. Everything seemed to freeze. Amazed, I looked at the car around me, and noticed that everyone’s attention was fixed on the blind couple while no one got mad and none was shouting and yelling.

    Never noticing something different, the couple adjusted their route as they followed the coaching. Trusting their white walking stick, they finally made it. As they went across the road, one thing struck me—they were still arm-in-arm. I was surprised at the emotionless expressions on their faces and judged they had no idea what was really going on around them. Yet I immediately sensed the sighs of relief of all the other drivers at that busy crossroads. So, taking a moment to see what is going on around you right now may award you something wonderful.

    ****************************************

    The above is my own version. It serves as a possible version for my students after I finish checking their work. Please check it and help polish it. Many thanks in advance.
    Last edited by rodgers white; 21-Feb-2017 at 05:38.

  2. teechar's Avatar
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    English Teacher
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      • Iraq
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      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 9,201
    #2

    Re: Please check my continuation writing and help improve it.

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post
    Every car in every direction did the same thing. They stopped at the same time. Everything seemed to freeze. Amazed, I looked at the cars around me, and noticed that everyone’s attention was fixed on the blind couple, while no one got mad and none was shouting and or yelling.

    Never noticing something different, the couple adjusted their route as they followed the coaching. Trusting their white walking sticks, they finally made it. As they went got across that intersection, the road, one thing struck me—they were still arm-in-arm. I was surprised at the emotionless expressions on their faces and judged they had no idea what was really going on around them. Yet, I immediately sensed the sighs of relief of all the other drivers at that busy crossroads. So, taking a moment to see what is going on around you right now may award you with something wonderful.
    .

  3. Member
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • Chinese
      • Home Country:
      • China
      • Current Location:
      • China

    • Join Date: Jan 2016
    • Posts: 264
    #3

    Re: Please check my continuation writing and help improve it.

    *****************************************

    Every car in every direction did the same thing.
    It was obviously that other drivers understand the young couple was blind. They stoped cars just like me and moved by the love scene. Forgetting to complained about the traffic jam while the couple were acrossing the crossroad.

    Never noticing something different, the couple adjusted their route as they followed the coaching. At that moment, the city was full of science without cars whizzing. The situation impressed me deeply because I had awared people’s kindness to the disabled person and more importantly to stop and smell the roses will truly give you a surprise which makes you believed the life’s beauty.


    ***************************************

    The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work.
    Please check the following and help me further improve it. Many thanks in advance.


    ***************************************
    Every car in every direction did the same thing. They all stopped at the same time. Everything seemed to freeze. Amazed, I looked at the cars around me, and it was obvious that the other drivers understood that the young couple were blind. They stoped stopped their cars just like me, and they were moved by the love scene while the couple were acrossing getting across the crossroad
    , forgetting to complain about the traffic jam.
    Never noticing something different, the couple adjusted their route as they followed the coaching. At that moment, the city world around the crossing was absolutely silent without the sound of cars whizzing. The situation impressed me deeply because I had awared was aware of people’s kindness to the disabled person and more importantly, I have realized that remembering to stop and smell the roses will truly give you a surprise, which makes you believe the in life’s beauty(the beauty of life).

    ***************************************

    Last edited by rodgers white; 22-Feb-2017 at 15:13.

  4. teechar's Avatar
    Moderator
    English Teacher
    • Member Info
      • Native Language:
      • English
      • Home Country:
      • Iraq
      • Current Location:
      • Iraq

    • Join Date: Feb 2015
    • Posts: 9,201
    #4

    Re: Please check my continuation writing and help improve it.

    Quote Originally Posted by rodgers white View Post

    Every car in every direction did the same thing.
    It was obvious ly that other drivers understand understood the young couple was were blind. They stopped their cars just like I did me and were moved by the love touching scene. Forgetting to complained No one was bothered by the cars piling up about the traffic jam while the couple were crossing the intersection. crossroad.

    Never noticing something different, the couple adjusted their route as they followed the coaching. At that moment, the normally busy and noisy intersection went totally silent; you could hear a pin drop. city was full of science without cars whizzing. The situation impressed moved me deeply because I had as it made me aware of people’s kindness to the disabled, person and more importantly it reminded to stop and smell the roses; that will truly give you a surprise which and make you believed the appreciate life’s beauty.


    ***************************************

    The above was written by one of my students. And the following was the version after I proofread my student's work.
    Please check the following and help me further improve it. Many thanks in advance.


    ***************************************
    Every car in every direction did the same thing. They all stopped at the same time. Everything seemed to freeze. Amazed, I looked at the cars around me, and it was obvious that the other drivers understood that the young couple were blind. They stoped stopped their cars just like I did, me, and they were moved by the love scene while the couple were acrossing getting across the intersection. crossroad
    , forgetting to complain about the traffic jam.


    Never noticing something different, the couple adjusted their route as they followed the coaching.
    At that moment, the city world around the crossing was absolutely silent without the sound of cars. whizzing. The situation impressed me deeply because I had awared was aware of people’s kindness to the disabled person and more importantly, I have realized that remembering to stop and smell the roses will truly give you a surprise and make you appreciate life's beauty. which makes you believe the in life’s beauty(the beauty of life).

    ***************************************

    .

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