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    #1

    A make up and fashion

    Hi, can someone please check this the following sentences? Thanks in advance.

    Short summary
    12 year old Anne, a make up and fashion whiz kid magically swaps bodies with her schoolmate Christ, a star footballer. As both of them search for a solution, Anne begins to like the change.

    Long summary
    12-year old makeup and fashion whiz kid, Anne, has her world turned upside down, when she magically swaps bodies with her schoolís star footballer, Christ. Itís 2 weeks away from the school play and the state team football tryouts. Anne and Christ search high and low for a solution. But as their search continues, the two begin to learn about each otherís world and Anne begins to love being a boy. Will Anne remain a boy? Will Christ be able to change Anneís mind in time for his tryouts?

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    #2

    Re: A make up and fashion

    12-year-old Anne, a makeup and fashion whiz kid, magically swaps bodies with her schoolmate Christ, a star footballer. As both of them search for a solution to their situation, Anne begins to like the change.
    I am not a teacher.

  3. teechar's Avatar
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    #3

    Re: A make up and fashion

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    her schoolmate Christ
    Are you sure that's right? The usual abbreviation is Chris.

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    #4

    Re: A make up and fashion

    Quote Originally Posted by teechar View Post
    Are you sure that's right? The usual abbreviation is Chris.
    Hmm Yes, you are right teechar. I'm sorry!

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    #5

    Re: A make up and fashion

    Revised summary as below. Please let me know if you spotted any grammar mistakes. Thanks teechar.

    Short summary
    12-year-old Anne, a makeup and fashion whiz kid, magically swaps bodies with her schoolmate Chris, a star footballer. As both of them search for a solution to their situation, Anne begins to like the change.

    Long summary
    12-year old makeup and fashion whiz kid, Anne, has her world turned upside down, when she magically swaps bodies with her school’s star footballer, Chris. It’s 2 weeks away from the school play and the state team football tryouts. Anne and Chris search high and low for a solution. But as their search continues, the two begin to learn about each other’s world and Anne begins to love being a boy. Will Anne remain a boy? Will Chris be able to change Anne’s mind in time for his tryouts?

  6. teechar's Avatar
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    #6

    Re: A make up and fashion

    Quote Originally Posted by Gaya87 View Post
    Short summary
    12-year-old Anne, a makeup and fashion whizkid, magically swaps bodies with her schoolmate Chris, a star footballer. As both of them search for a solution to their situation, Anne begins to like the change.

    Long summary
    12-year-old makeup and fashion whizkid, Anne, has her world turned upside down, when she magically swaps bodies with her schoolís star footballer, Chris. Itís 2 weeks away from the school play and the state team football tryouts. Anne and Chris search high and low for a solution. But as their search continues, the two begin to learn about each otherís world, and Anne begins starts to love being a boy. Will Anne remain a boy? Will Chris be able to change Anneís mind in time for his tryouts?
    .

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    #7

    Re: A make up and fashion

    Interestingly, most dictionaries spell "whiz kid" as two words while some spell it as a hyphenated word, "whiz-kid".

    Only Macmillan Dictionary spells it as one word.

    Cambridge Dictionary spells it as "whizz-kid".
    I am not a teacher.

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