I want to apply for International Business in Denmark and they ask for a letter of motivation that contains:
"Your contribution: What can you contribute to the degree with regards to your background and experience and what will you get out of the international environment of the degree programme?
Your motivation: Why do you wish to study this degree programme?
Your career plans: what are your future plans and how can the degree programme help you to achieve your goals?"
Thank you in advance for checking for any grammar/spelling/sentence construction mistakes and also do you think the content is too personal? I want to stick out of the other candidates and I thought it showed "my contribute to the degree with regards to my background and experience" and also I thought it would be good to tell something about me experience abroad. Let me know what you think!
Dear Sir or Madam,
with this letter I would like to highlight my interest for your Bachelor program of „International business“ and my very personal motivation to study in Denmark at the XXX.
Some say people either are born to be a leader or not. But from my personal experience i can say that people grow into being leaders. I remember being in primary school and being a very shy, silent and unpopular little girl. I started school one year earlier than normal and therefore have always been the youngest, the smallest and one of the smartest which was not the best combination for making a lot of friends. With very low self-confidence but great optimism about times getting better I started secondary school. The first years still were difficult but I finally made real friends and started developing confidence about who I am and what I was doing. I chose that very certain school because it was a musician one and I have always been very interested and talented in playing the piano, the violin, singing and drawing. Those talents actually helped me a lot in developing self-confidence as the people in my school rated me very high for my skills and I started winning several competitions. The many friendships I had were true and I would take over the part of the responsible and rational one. Although I still was the youngest I was earning lots of respect from my classmates not only for my music but especially for the kindness, reliability and patience I stood for as a friend.
But when in year 11 I had the urge to try something new and challenge myself even if that meant to leave everything behind. Therefore I decided to take a big step towards my own independence and to become a boarder at XXX, UK. I took the A-Levels in Maths, Biology, Arts and Philosophy to be able to concentrate on less subjects but more in depth. I liked the high standard and to earn solid knowledge. After being confronted with my first couple of exams i started doubting if the british school system worked for me. I am very good at finding a way to solve problems without any guidance and to think independently and different so that I did not like the way of reciting pre-learned answers to pre-known questions. I eventually decided that for me the german way of educating worked the best where my differentiated way of thinking really was appreciated and approved. I represented my house one last time in the school’s music competition and won the category „solo“ for playing the piano which was definitely one of the proudest moments in my life. But after all, I decided to return to Germany to finish my Abitur after seven months of living and studying in Great Britain. This time abroad still was one of the best experiences I have ever made. Being part of a house community, learning a new language, finding new friends from all over the world and being responsible for my own life without having parents near who look after me made me a lot more mature and showed me where I wanted to go and what my goals in life are.
This curiosity and the want of new experiences and challenges is still burning inside of me which is why it was always clear for me that one day I will study abroad and probably even emigrate. Scandinavia in general fascinates me but especially Denmark and XXX with its great diversity, the global thinking and the open-mindedness fits perfectly to me. I have heard a lot about the XXX and would love to be part of it. I turned from that shy girl into a grown adult with many great ideas and no fear of taking self-initiative. I know about my strengths and weaknesses and am extremely motivated to change, create and inspire. As a child from a successful entrepreneur-family I know about the struggles and issues a modern company has to deal with but I also know that with creativity, hard work and future-orientated thinking great things can be achieved. I could have easily gone with my dad’s business but I want to do things and reach my personal goals independently on my own and not to take the easy way. My very personal concern is to focus on the sustainability of todays companies. In my opinion it is as important as it has never been before to support local businesses and to use globalization to connect people to work together. Every single human being takes major responsibility about planet earth and its people and I have the dream that one day I will be in a powerful position where I can change things, such as improving the use of regenerative resources and therefore take part in making the world a better place for our future generations.
Not only that the program will teach me how international markets work and how to responsibly manage a company but it also offers the great opportunity take part in the XXX double exchange program which is very attractive and unique to me. I want to learn as much as possible about other countries and cultures on an economic level in order to be able to represent and work for a company global.
As one of Europe’s best Business Schools I think XXX will be the perfect place for me to have all the opportunities I need to develop those leadership-skills on an international level that I will need to follow my goals and not to lose track of them.
I hope that I could express my great personal motivation to study „International Business“ as a Bachelor Degree’s Program and look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
H.B.
Last edited by emsr2d2; 22-Feb-2017 at 22:38. Reason: Sorted out font issues
Hi Hanala, and welcome to the forum.
Some comments:
1- That letter is too long, especially the first half (your background).
2- You need to focus on what they asked you to write about.
3- The content needs to be in distinct (separate) paragraphs.
Redraft your letter (bearing in mind the above) and post it again.
Hello Teechar, thank you for your help! I shortened it a lot and tried to separate it into the different parts, what do you think?
Dear Sir or Madam,
with this letter I would like to highlight my interest for your Bachelor program of „International business“ and my very personal motivation to study in Denmark at the XXX.
I finished my Abitur in 2016 at a musician school in Germany. It gave the students many opportunities to improve not only their music but also their art skills which fit me perfectly as those are some of the things I am very interested in and also won different competitions in.
In year 11 I had the urge to try something new and challenge myself. Therefore I decided to take a big step towards my own independence and to become a boarder at XXX, UK. I took the A-Levels in Maths, Biology, Arts and Philosophy to be able to concentrate on less subjects but more in depth. I liked the high standard and to earn solid knowledge. As I would have been very limited in my choices for university if I took the A-Levels Exam, I went back to Germany after seven months of living and studying in Great Britain to finish my Abitur. This time abroad still was one of the best experiences I have ever made. Being part of a house community, learning a new language, finding new friends from all over the world and being responsible for my own life without having parents near who look after me made me a lot more mature and showed me where I wanted to go and what my goals in life are.
This curiosity and the want of new experiences and challenges is a big part of me which is why it was always clear for me that one day I will study abroad and probably even emigrate. Scandinavia in general fascinates me but especially Denmark and XXX(city) with its great diversity, the global thinking and the open-mindedness fits perfectly to me. I have heard a lot about the XXX(uni) and would love to be part of it. I have turned from a shy girl into a grown adult with many great ideas and no fear of taking self-initiative. I know about my strengths and weaknesses and am extremely motivated to change, create and inspire.
As a child from a successful entrepreneur-family I know about the struggles and issues a modern company has to deal with but I also know that with creativity, hard work and future-orientated thinking great things can be achieved. As I am very good at finding a way to solve problems without any guidance and to think differentiated I have great potential to be a responsible leader who is not afraid to come up with new ideas. I could have easily gone with my dad’s business but I want to do things and reach my personal goals independently on my own and not to take the easy way.
My very personal concern is to focus on the sustainability of todays companies. In my opinion it is as important as it has never been before to support local businesses and to use globalization to connect people to work together. Every single human being takes major responsibility about planet earth and its people and I am dreaming of one day being in a powerful position where I can change things, such as improving the use of regenerative resources and therefore take part in making the world a better place for our future generations.
Not only that the program will teach me how international markets work and how to responsibly manage a company but it also offers the great opportunity take part in the XXX double exchange program which is very attractive and unique to me. I want to learn as much as possible about other countries and cultures on an economic level in order to be able to represent and work for a company global.
As one of Europe’s best Business Schools I think XXX will be the perfect place for me to have all the opportunities I need to develop those leadership-skills on an international level that I will need to follow my goals and not to lose track of them.
I hope that I could express my great personal motivation to study „International Business“ as a Bachelor Degree’s Program and look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
H.B.
You still haven't addressed those in your letter. Can you write a brief paragraph for each and post it below?Originally Posted by hanala
I would love to share my own experiences such as my social background where I have already met many people from all over the world but also my practical knowledge about the structures and organization of a company that I grew up with. I would love to be part of the international community and to extend the diversity which would also enables me to very soon make solid relation- and friendships that will be immensely helpful for my future business plans. Also with meeting so many different people who are all on the same track as I am will show me many different point of views and new ideas where we might inspire each other. Besides that I will of course remarkably improve my english skills in terms of business language that will be essential for my business future.
After my degree I want to work for an international institution that I can globally represent and extend. I would love to be part of a company that deals with the development of renewable energy sources and to bring the idea of the urgency of climate protection to every country in the world especially the big industrial powers.
Is that enough about the questions? I don't want the letter to be too long again. Is there something I should delete or summarize? thank you! :)
Dear Sir or Madam,
With this letter, I would like to apply for your Bachelor of International Business program for the September 2017 intake.
I finished my Abitur in 2016 at a music school in Germany. That gave me many opportunities to improve my musical and artistic skills, and I won different competitions there. In year 11, I had the urge to try something new and challenge myself. Therefore, I decided to take a big step towards my own independence and to become a boarder at XXX, in the UK. I studied the A-Levels in Maths, Biology, Arts and Philosophy to be able to concentrate on fewer subjects. As I would have been very limited in my choice of university if I had taken the A-Levels exam, I went back to Germany after seven months of living and studying in Great Britain to finish my Abitur. That time abroad was one of the best experiences in my life. Being part of a community, learning a new language, making new friends from all over the world and being responsible for my own life without having my parents nearby to look after me made me a lot more mature and independent and showed me where I wanted to go and what my goals in life are.
I am fascinated by Scandinavia, but especially by Denmark and XXX(city) with its great diversity, cosmopolitan outlook and open-mindedness. I have heard a lot about the XXX(uni) and would love to be part of it. I know my strengths and weaknesses, and I am always motivated to change, create and inspire.
As a child from a successful entrepreneurial family, I know about the struggles and issues a modern company has to deal with, but I also know that with creativity, hard work and future-orientated thinking, great things can be achieved. As I am very good at finding ways to solve problems without any guidance and as a lateral thinker, I believe I have the potential to become a responsible leader who is not afraid to come up with new ideas. I could have easily joined the family business, but I want to achieve my personal goals independently.
My special interest is sustainability of modern companies. In my opinion, it is vitally important to support local businesses and to use globalization to connect people to work together. Every single human being has a responsibility for our planet and its people, and I dream of one day being in a powerful position where I can make a real difference, such as through promoting the use of regenerative resources and, therefore, contribute to making the world a better place for our future generations.
Not only will your program teach me how international markets work and how to responsibly manage a company, but it also offers the great opportunity to take part in the XXX double exchange program which is very attractive and special to me. I want to learn as much as possible about other countries and cultures, especially on an economic level, in order to be able to represent and work for a global company. I would be honoured to be part of your university's international community and I will add to the diversity there, which would also enable me to make solid relationships and friendships that will be immensely helpful for my future business plans. As one of Europe’s finest business schools, XXX will be the perfect place for me to develop my leadership skills at an international level.
After my degree I want to work for an international firm that I can represent globally. I aspire to be part of a company that deals with the development of renewable energy sources and to bring the idea of the urgency of climate protection to every country in the world especially the large industrial powers.
I thank you for considering my application and look forward to your positive response.
Yours faithfully,
H.B.
thank you so much you helped me a lot!!
You're very welcome, and I wish you all the best with your study endeavours.
You're very welcome, and I wish you all the best with your study endeavours.
Mr Teechar.... Please can i send you a personal email of my Letter of motivation for correction?
I really need a swift and correction SIr.
Kindly help out... Thank you
my email is [REMOVED]
No, we do not give out our personal emails.
If there's something you feel uncomfortable with posting on the public forum, you can send me a private message (PM). However, you need to have made more than 10 (or is it 15?) posts to be able to do that.
You can always make a few contributions to our Fun and Games sub-forum to build up your number of posts.
I don't know what that means!
See above.
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